Remind Me
by jmj3
Summary: Bella and Edward have been in each others's lives forever. What happens when they fall in and out of love all because they forgot to remind each other of how they felt and they both pulled away. Lies, Rumors, Betrayal all play a part.
1. Chapter 1

Hi guys! Hopefully you will enjoy this story.

I own no characters, just the plot.

* * *

><p>Being famous has its ups and its downs. The perks are of course worth it. Free clothes, amazing cars, the biggest houses you can imagine. Sure, it may be all material things that are the biggest benefit, but what else is there when your privacy is threatened day in and day out. The biggest downside to this life is that you never know who is there because they care for you, or are there because of who you are.<p>

Luckily, I had a close knit group of friends that have been in my life since before I was who I am now. I knew that they loved me on my good days and bad days, no matter what. I never had to question if they wanted something from me or not.

First, we have my older brother Emmett. He is 25, and has been my best friend for the last 5 years. Our parents passed away in a car accident, and he stepped up to raise me since I was a minor. I am only 20 so it is sort of amazing that we are as close as we are. Luckily, he did everything in his power to make sure I had a great high school experience, and was there for me through everything. When he had to move home from Seattle it nearly crushed him. He was leaving his best friend and girlfriend up there to come and take care of me. How many 20 year olds would do that for their little sisters? Not many that I can think of.

After he was with me for a few months, he broke down and lost it. He was hospitalized for depression because he didn't know the first thing about raising a 15 year old girl. Let's not forget that he had just lost his parents, and was truly a lost little boy even if he didn't admit it. Because of this, his girlfriend Rosalie, or Rose as she was now going by, and his best friend Edward moved home to help him, as well as me.

Edward has been Emmett's best friend since they were three, seeing as our parents were very close as well. I know, it may be weird that I would need Emmett if my parents were very close with Carlisle and Esme. But I didn't want to leave our family home. When you're a 15 year old girl, you are extremely emotional and need to hold on to what you have when you have it. Grieving isn't something you look to do at such a young age. Anyway, to make the story short, they all moved into our house. They decided that Edward could help me with my homework and such since he was ridiculously smart. Rose was supposed to be here to help me with any "female issues" I might have, as they so put it. And Emmett was just here to be Emmett.

Aside from the three of them, I had Alice who had been my best friend since we were three. She was Edward's little sister, and her and I had been inseparable since we first met. She got me in a way that no one else seemed to. She had been in love with Jasper Hale, Rose's cousin, since we were seven, and always swore that one day she would marry him. Granted, at the time he thought she was gross and had cooties. Now, they are as happy as can be, but not quite to the marriage stage yet. Jasper rounds out our little family, and it has been the six of us for the last five years. And for some of us, it has been even longer.

Here I am sitting in the back room dwelling on what has happened to lead to these events. I guess dwelling is the wrong word, but everything going on just consumes me lately to where I am barely able to comprehend things. Thank goodness I am an actress and am good at hiding these issues, but truly, they are eating me up inside.

There is no way in hell I want to do this interview, but I guess it is necessary. The rumors around Hollywood, and even the rest of the world, have been crazy. I guess I can understand why it got to this point, but it's annoying either way.

"Bells, you okay in here?" I hear my brother ask me. Even though the rumors involved his best friend, he was still here by my side.

"I'm as good as can be expected Em," I smiled at him sadly, " I don't want to do this. I don't want to answer their questions that I know they are going to have, because it makes it real. It means he isn't in my life anymore." I cried on his shoulder as he hugged me.

"I know Baby Girl. But you gotta do it. I may not know the full extent as to what went on with you guys, and I'm okay with that. But for both of your sakes, you have to do this. The two of you need closure. I need my baby sister in my life, but I also need my best friend." He told me. You could hear sadness dripping off of his voice, and it killed me to know that I was the cause of it once again.

"I'm sorry Em. You should go be with him, I'll be okay."

"You're always trying to put on a brave face for me aren't you?" He smiled at me, "Bells, if I were to go with him, who would be there for you? This entire thing has ripped our little family apart and it kills me. Best friend or not, I can't choose someone over you."

"And it hasn't killed me Em? I lost the man I love, my best friends, everything! I have you, and I am more grateful than you know, but how I am supposed to deal with this? He won't even talk to me! He's been in my life since before I can remember, and now he is just gone! It is almost worse than when mom and dad died! At least then, I knew I wouldn't and even couldn't see them anymore, but with him." I stopped to take a deep breath because I knew this next part would be hard to admit. "I know he is out there. I know he is okay, or at least I hope he is. I need him as much as I need you and Alice, if not more!" I realized I was yelling at him and I should probably stop since we weren't in private and this was not the type of thing I needed getting out into public. I could see it now, "Bella Swan has break down and hospitalized!" I'd be the next Britney Spears before I knew it.

"Miss Swan, 10 minutes until you go on." Joe, the assistant of the show came in telling me. I guess I was really going to do this.

"Bella look. I love you. You will always be my baby sister, and I will always be your number one fan. Mom and Dad would be extremely happy for everything that you have accomplished. Like I said earlier, I don't know the extent of your guys relationship since you kept it secret for so long. What I do know, is that the two of you are miserable separate, and should try to figure out a way back to each other. I know I didn't always accept you guys, and I'm sorry. But right now, you need to suck it up. Go out there, answer some questions that are going to make you squirm, and move on. Either get over him, or figure it out. Sorry to be so harsh baby girl, but its the truth."

"I know. It's just all easier said than done." I told him.

We sat there in silence for the next few minutes while I just sat and thought about how to handle this. How do you try to make something work with someone who won't talk to you? I guess my only option is to give up and move on.

"Miss Swan, it's time to go to left stage now." Joe came in once more, except I had to go with him this time. And cue the sweating.

"Good Luck babes, I'll be out there watchin ya! And remember, if you get nervous, just picture everyone but me in their undies!" He laughed his monster laugh as we both walked out.

"Love you Em. Sorry for yelling at you in there. I'll see you soon." I smiled a soft smile at him, and I'm sure he could tell how nervous I was.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Award Winning Actress Bella Swan!" I heard Ellen yell, which was my cue to go on stage. Well, here goes nothing! f

Being on Ellen, it is basically a requirement that you have to dance while going out. My issue, is that I am the world's biggest klutz. No really, in Hollywood, they vote every year as to who is what. Sort of like high school and the year book except this was with all the A-List celebrities. For the last 3 years, I was nominated biggest klutz. I wouldn't say it's a great title, but it is what it is and I may as well embrace it. So here I go in three inch heels and a tight-as-hell dress. Even though Alice and I may not be talking, I still wear her clothes. I have to support her, even though she isn't here for me right now. I was dancing, and I hadn't fallen yet! Maybe today was going to be okay. It's like it was a sign that if I could make it across the floor in heels dancing, then maybe I could actually make it through these questions. As I was thinking that, I felt it. My right foot went one way and left foot went another. Oh shit. Next thing I know, I am on the floor doing the splits. Lord help me now, all I hear is laughter. They are laughing at me!

"Well Bella, it is great to see you again, but why don't we help you up off the floor. That looks like it could be quite uncomfortable." Ellen laughed as she grabbed my hand and helped me up.

"I really need to remember not to dance, or better yet wear heels when I come here." I laughed loudly as I said this, which in turn made the audience laugh louder.

Ellen gave me a large hug and whispered in my ear, "I know today will be hard on you, we can stop at any point okay?" I nodded my head against her and we let go making our way over to our seats.

"Ok ladies and gentlemen, Bella Swan! Here she is in the flesh! How are you doing Bella?"

"Well, I'm a little sore after doing acrobats here, but other than that I'm alive and kicking! It really is great to be back here."

"It is always a pleasure to have you here in our studio, I just really do wish it was for different reasons." She offered me a sad smile as she said this, and I knew she meant it.

"As you all know, the entire hour here is dedicated to Bella Swan, and we may or may not have surprise guests along the way."

"What are you talking about Ellen? Surprise guests? Anyone I need to know about?" Well shit, now I was nervous. I know Edward has made a name for himself, I just don't think I can talk to him face to face. I don't know if I can handle it.

"Don't worry Miss Nosey Pants. They are all guests that have been approved through your brother Emmett. Say hello Emmett!" She said as she pointed to the audience and the cameras panned over to him. What I didn't expect was Rose to be sitting next to him with a huge smile on her face waving at me. I hadn't seen her since shit went down six months ago. I guess I had blocked myself off from everyone, including her. The sad part is that she lives with Emmett, and he is always near me. How I hadn't seen her in six months, I will never know.

"Oh My God Rose!" I nearly squealed.

"Sitting next to Emmett is his girlfriend Rosalie, who is one of Bella's best friend, and if rumors are correct, a friend she hasn't seen in six months." I heard Ellen tell the audience. With that, everyone ooh'd and aww'd. "Well girls, don't just sit there! Let's see some lovin!" She yelled at both of us.

Next thing I know, Rose was up running towards me. I'll let her come to me so that I don't trip and fall again. Immediately, I was wrapped up in her arms and willing away the tears.

"I love you Bells. I know this is hard, but I am here for you 100%. Don't push me away, I have your back in all of this. Not his."

"I love you too Rose. I really missed you. I'm so sorry!" And here come the waterworks. If Alice were here, she would kick me because I was ruining my makeup. This thought made me laugh.

"Ok baby girl, I gotta go back over to your brother. But I love you, don't you ever forget that." And with that she kissed my cheek and ran back to her seat.

"Wow Ellen, thank you for that. I really wasn't expecting to see anyone other than your lovely self today."

"It wouldn't be our show if we weren't full of surprises."

"This is true." I laughed. It was true, she had tons of things up her sleeve and typically no one knew what they were.

"So why don't we cut to the chase, and just jump in head first, what do you say?" She asked me.

"Well, I guess there's no beating around the bush any longer is there?"

"You are here to clear up the rumors that are floating around about your entire life correct? More importantly, between you and a certain young man."

"Yes, that is correct."

"Now let's make sure that the audience understand why this is important. No one knows how Bella got where she is today. She has never once opened up on her past, or on a supposed relationship with Edward Cullen. I assume you all know who he is." She paused and the entire audience agreed that they did in fact, know who he was. "But what no one knows, is the nitty gritty. For those who have followed the media lately, you know that the actress we have come to love has been accused of cheating, lying, and ripping their family apart. The thing everyone needs to remember, she has never admitted she is in a relationship with Edward. We do know that they are close as photos are around of them at all different ages. Now you just met her brother Emmett, and I personally know all of these people outside of the business, and let me tell you. Emmett and Edward are best friends, and have been since they were young. I don't know how young, as it has never been discussed but you can tell by the interaction among these young men and women, it has been awhile. Bella here, is here to help us understand just what made her who she is. And to once again, address all of these accusations. Now, this show is typically full of humor, but today is special as it focuses on Miss Isabella Swan and her story. So Bella, I give you the floor."

"If I am going to do this, it is important that we start at the beginning. That, for us, started when I was 15 years old."

* * *

><p>Please tell me what you think! Thanks!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

I own no characters, just the storyline! Please tell me what you think guys!

* * *

><p>My name is Isabella Swan, but everyone calls me Bella. I am fifteen years old, and am sitting in a police station. My parents were just in a car accident, and I was brought here. No one will tell my why, but my guess is that it is because they don't want me alone until God knows when. That would be the most logical thing. My father is the Chief of Police, so growing up this place has been like a second home to me. Everyone keeps looking at me, with weird looks on their faces and I don't know what the hell is going on. I just know that I am tired, hungry, and I want to go home. My homework had been done hours ago; yes I said hours, I've been here for at least four hours. As I am sitting there debating what I can find around this place to eat, I hear someone call my name.<p>

"Bella? Honey? Can you hear me?" It was a woman's voice.

"What?" I look around and see that it is Esme, mom's best friend, and mom to Edward and Alice.

"Oh. Sorry Esme. I was spacing out there. How come you are here?" I ask her. I don't understand why she would be here if mom and dad aren't even here.

"Baby girl, they called us to come get you." She looked at me in confusion, but I still didn't get it.

"Why? Mom and Dad will be here any minute to get me. They are just at the hospital getting checked over. Dad says that's how it works when people are in accidents."

"Honey, has no one talked to you at all?" Again, what's with the look of confusion?

"No. I've just been sitting here the entire time. I did my homework, and was just getting hungry so I was thinking of what I could find around here to eat." I told her.

"Oh baby!" She said and grabbed me by my head and pulled me into her. What the hell is going on? "Baby, I called Emmett, he will be here in the morning which is why they called us to come get you. They couldn't just send you home."

"Esme what are you talking about?" I pulled myself away from her so that I could look at her face. Esme has been like a second mother to me since her daughter Alice and I were best friends, and our moms were best friends as well. "Where are mom and dad?" I asked her.

"Baby, they were in an accident. You know this already. I am so sorry to have to tell you this Baby Girl, but they were both pronounced dead on arrival. I'm sorry honey."

What? Did she just say mom and dad were dead? There was no way. Dad wouldn't just leave me alone. Mom might, but only because she is scatter brained. But I have always been a daddy's girl, and there is no way he would just leave me without a fight.

"Esme they are wrong. They have to be. You know dad would never leave me! He just wouldn't do it." I was starting to panic, I could feel it. Why else would they bring Esme here? "Can you take me to the hospital? I need to talk to dad. He's there Esme; you can see it for yourself! Don't trust these fuckers! Sorry, but it's true! They just want dad's job!" I was yelling, and starting to hyperventilate.

"Carlisle, can you give her something so we can get her home?" I heard her ask. When did Carlisle get here? He will listen to me! He and dad are best friends!

"Carlisle please! Take me to my dad. I just need to see him, even my mom! Please Carlisle!" I was begging and begging when I felt a poke on my arm.

"I'm sorry Baby Girl. This will help you calm down, and we will get you home and we will take care of you I promise."

"Don't call me that! None of you! That is dad's name for me! None of you have the right to call me by his name!" Baby Girl is what my dad has called me since I was born. It just stuck, and both families have called me that since before I can remember. That is when my world went black, and I couldn't feel anything.

When I woke up, it was dark outside. I knew I was at the Cullen house; actually I was in Edward's room. This has basically become my room since he has been away at school. Edward is Emmett's best friend and they left to school for Seattle together. I missed both of them. Edward and I had an odd friendship. We were extremely close when it was just the two of us, but when there were other people around, he treated me like he treated Alice, like a little sister. I knew it was wrong at times, since he was five years older than me. I just didn't care. I didn't understand his mood changes, but whatever, he's a guy and they usually don't make sense at all.

I needed to get out of here, I needed to get to the hospital, and see mom and dad. They would prove everyone wrong and they would all feel so bad that they had lied to me and told me they were dead. I rolled over to get off the bed and hit a warm body. It was Edward.

"Edward! What are you doing here?" I jumped onto him and clung to him as if nothing else mattered.

"Shh Baby Girl it's okay, I'm here. I gotcha." He rubbed my back lightly as he held me to him.

"Can you take me to the hospital? Your mom told me that my mom and dad were dead, but it's a lie. I can prove it if I can get to the hospital." I told him, and looked up at him with hope in my eyes.

"Baby, they're gone. I'm so sorry sweetheart. My dad was there when they called it. I promise you they are not lying to you." He was sad; I could see it on his face.

"No. I don't believe it." I clung to him even tighter. I knew he wouldn't lie to me, but I didn't want to believe it either. I was crying so hard that I was shaking.

"Baby Girl it's okay, I'm not going anywhere any time soon okay? I missed you ya know? I'm sorry it takes this for me to come home though. I need you to calm down babes, or I'll have to get dad and he might have to sedate you."

"NO!" I screamed at him. "I don't want to sleep anymore."

"You know I'm right don't you? That they are gone? You have to believe that I wouldn't ever lie to you." He held my face in his hands as he was saying this, and I nodded my head yes with tears rolling down my face. "Emmett is downstairs with mom and dad talking to them. Do you want me to take you to him? I'm sure he needs you as much as you need him."

"Please." I whispered.

I was scared to go down there alone; I am embarrassed to go down there after my freak out at the police station. But I needed my big brother. I was walking behind Edward, trying to stay out of sight as we walked down the three stair cases, into the kitchen where I knew they would be. The kitchen was the gathering spot whenever Emmett was in town. I heard him way before I saw him as his voice carries. I grabbed the back of Edward's shirt, and he stopped and turned to me.

"You okay Baby Girl?" He questioned me with sincerity.

"I'm scared." I whispered to him. I didn't even want to look at his face.

"Why?"

"That your parents are going to be mad at me for how I acted at the station. I sort of freaked out on them and your dad had to sedate me to calm me down."

"Listen to me okay?" He sort of crouched down since he was so much bigger than me, "They are not mad at you, I don't think anyone could ever be mad at you. But especially not in a situation like this. Don't you think it's odd that dad had meds on him? You know he doesn't carry random sedatives on him at any given time. They anticipated how you were going to react. It's okay. Now let's get you to Em." He said to me, and I believed him as we continued walking. That was when I saw my brother. His face was covered with sadness, and it broke me a little more.

"Emmett!" I yelled and ran to him. I jumped up on him and wrapped myself around him. I was tiny compared to him. I was barely pushing five feet, and maybe weighed 110, whereas he was 6'5 and about 250 pounds, but he was pure muscle.

"Baby Bell, I am so sorry I wasn't here! That it took me so long to get to you!" He squeezed me just as tight as I was him, and it hit me. He needed me just as much, I wasn't alone here.

"Its okay I had mom and dad number two with me." I smiled against his neck. Then pushed myself away from him so that I could apologize to Esme and Carlisle about how I acted.

"I'm sorry Esme, and to you too Carlisle," I started but was cut off.

"Isabella Marie Swan, you stop it right now. You have no reason to apologize to either one of us. You reacted in a way that anyone would have." She grabbed my face and kissed my forehead like she always had. "I love you on good days and bad days. You are and always will be my second daughter, you hear me?"

"Yes." I smiled up at her and threw my hands around her and just cried. "Esme, what happened?" I asked her through my tears.

"What do you mean honey?" She asked me.

"What happened to mom and dad?"

"Oh. Baby Girl we haven't told Em yet either. Why don't we go to the living room and we can all talk there. Alice, Edward, come join us my loves, Renee and Charlie were like parents to you guys too." She said to everyone. I didn't even know that they were in the room still.

We all made our way to the living room and the four of us kids sat on the couch together like we always had when our parents needed to talk to us. Whenever it was something bad our order was Emmett, me, Alice and Edward, with all four of us holding hands. It seemed to us that if we could hold each other in some form, it would lessen the blow. I saw the look on Esme's face, and she almost wanted to laugh at us. No matter how old we got, or the age differences between us, it was the four of us against everyone else. It always has been and hopefully it always will be.

"So you all know there was an accident." She started, and we nodded our heads. That much was clear. "Well, they were at the Burton/First Street intersection," she stopped talking because her voice was cracking. "They went to turn left, but didn't see that someone was coming their way." She paused with what she was saying and tears were now streaming down her face. "I'm so so sorry my babies." She was literally stumbling over her words at this point, and I knew it was just as hard on her to tell us what had happened as it was for us to hear it. "I'm sorry, I can't do this. I can't say it. Carlisle, please help me." She was sobbing and clutching at him to help her. You could tell it was more than just words she needed help with. The thing about Carlisle is that with him being a doctor, he could turn off his emotions and go into doctor mode in order to give someone upsetting news.

"I'm sorry kids, but the car that was coming towards them ran a red light, and hit them straight on.

"They were brought into the hospital in order to get positive ID's on the bodies. Even though everyone knew who it was based on the car alone." He chuckled at this because my dad refused to get a new car, and was driving a 1990 Toyota Tercel. "They brought the bodies into the coroner's office and I happened to be walking down there when I saw them. I didn't know it was them until I saw the plaid of Charlie's sleeve, and the brown of Renee's hair. I fought and fought with the coroner to let me try and revive both of them, but they had been gone for too long." He stopped and wiped at his eyes. I knew it was just as hard on him as it was the rest of us.

"What's going to happen to me?" I quietly asked with a shaky voice. I was scared I would end up in foster care since I was still a minor.

"That's what we were talking about when you came downstairs. Esme and Carlisle have said that you can stay with them for as long as you want." I heard Emmett say.

"What about the house?" I asked.

"Well if you aren't going to be there, and no one else is either, we can sell it I guess. Mom and dad owned it out right so they money could go to you for college or something." He told me.

"Sell the house? Are you fucking crazy? We were born there Emmett! All of our memories with mom and dad are there! There is no fucking way in hell I am letting anyone touch that house!" I was screaming and I was livid. That was ours. No one was going to live there other than us.

"Can't I just stay there on my own? I'm old enough to take care of myself, and Esme and Carlisle are only three houses down." I stated.

"No Bella. You're fifteen. While you may be mature enough to handle things on your own, you're not old enough to do it alone." Esme said.

"Baby Bell, I'll move home. You and me okay? We're a team now, and I'll take care of you." Emmett said to me.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to give up school though."

"No one is giving up school. I will just transfer to Port Angeles and go while you are in school too." He smiled at me.

"We can't even cook Em! How are we supposed to eat?" I was starting to hyperventilate again. Who was going to feed us? We were going to die due to starvation!

"Bella honey, relax. You know you guys are always welcome here to eat. I will even teach you how to cook okay? I promise you it will be alright." Esme said to me.

"It's gonna take me a couple of weeks to get everything moved back down here, and for me to finish out my current classes. Can you stay with Carlisle and Esme until I can get back down here Bells?"

"Yea of course." I said. If it was just a short time, I could handle not being in my own home.

"Bella, you can stay in my room!" Alice chirped. Yes, it was a happy chirp even though this was a terrible thing to happen.

"We'll see Alice. It's not like there aren't 4 other rooms in this house she is welcome to." I heard Carlisle tell her. "Plus, the two of you in one room, you guys would never get anything done."

"Thank you guys. I love you." I told Carlisle and Esme.

"We will always love you Bella. I'm just so sorry that this is happening, but together, we will learn to overcome all of it.

"How long til you have to go back to school boys?" Esme asked Edward and Emmett.

"Well we both took a leave of absence for a couple of weeks so that we could be here, but if I am moving home I should head back up and cancel the leave so that I can get things in order to move back." Emmett said.

"I can stay as long as I need; I am far ahead in my classes and have already completed my finals." I heard Edward say. This made me smile because he seemed to calm me down.

"Well alright then. It's settled. Emmett tomorrow I want you to go back up to school and get things in order. Edward, you will be here helping me with getting the girls to and from school and such so that your father and I can make all arrangements for Renee and Charlie." My head snapped up at this statement. I never thought about having to make arrangement for my own parent's funeral. "Don't worry loves, we will handle it all. No child should ever have to go through this alone. I don't care how old you are Emmett, you will always be a child to me." She smiled at him.

"Let's get you kids all off to bed. It's been a long day and you all need to rest. Bella honey, do I need to make up a room for you?" She looked at me as she asked this.

"Oh well, uhm. I don't know." Where was I supposed to sleep now that Edward was home? His room had become mine since he was away. There was something about it that just comforted me.

"It's fine mom, I'll sleep somewhere else and she can have my bed." Edward told her.

"Thank you dear. I appreciate that." Maybe she had told him about me sleeping there since he had been gone? I'm not sure, but either way I was grateful.

"Thanks Edward." I blushed as I said this.

"Not a problem at all." Was his response to me

And that is how I ended up staying at the Cullen's house for the time being.


	3. Chapter 3

Staying with the Cullen's has been as good as can be expected. Everyone is walking on eggshells in this house. Everything that has happened is eating Esme alive slowly, she wants to stay strong for all of us, but you can tell that it isn't easy for her. She can barely even stand to cook anymore, which if you knew Esme, you would know was a huge issue.

The funeral for mom and dad had been nice. We wanted to keep it small, but being that they were so well known within our town, I think nearly everyone that was in town, or had ever met them, showed up to pay their respects.

I keep having dreams that wake me up and all I can do is cry. I dream that mom and dad are here with me; with all of us, then they run and we can't catch them. I try as hard as I can to get them to stay with me, but they just don't. When I wake up it seems so real, like I was just told again that they are gone and not coming back to me.

Tonight was no different of course. It had been three weeks since they were gone, and I woke up screaming. I was scared and alone. How is anyone supposed to handle this? I was lying in bed crying and clutching Edward's pillow when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." I said quietly.

Edward peeked his head in, and I smiled when I saw that it was him.

"You okay? I heard you screaming and crying. Can I do anything to help?" He asked me.

"Just a dream. I'll be okay I guess."

"You've been dreaming every night but never this bad." Shit. He had heard me.

"Oh. Well. Yea. Sorry." What was I supposed to say to that?

He came in the room and sat on the chair at the desk which was across from me. Oddly, I felt better knowing he was here and I wasn't alone. Maybe if I wasn't alone, the dreams would go away and I could actually get some rest.

"When is Emmett coming back Edward? He's been gone for three weeks and I wanna go home. I haven't even been allowed in my house since the accident."

"He should be home in a couple of days. I can take you over there if you want me to. I'm sure mom and dad would understand. They just don't want you alone Baby Girl." He smiled meekly at me.

"Can we go tonight?" I questioned him. I really just wanted to go sleep in my bed.

"Yea. Get your stuff together and we can go over there. Just let me go tell mom okay?" He said this as he got up to walk out of the room.

"Okay. I'll meet you downstairs!" I know I shouldn't be excited to get to go home but I needed to be there, it felt like I would be closer to mom and dad if I was there.

A few minutes later he came downstairs in some baggy pajama pants, and a gray shirt saying Seattle University. I know it's wrong, and completely the wrong time to be thinking this, but he looks really good in those clothes. You could see the outline of his chest, and the muscles in his arms. I may only be 15, but I love arm muscles.

"Okay let's go. Mom had a key to your house so she gave it to me." He held it up to me, but what I saw made me cry. They were mom's keys. I didn't know they were here.

"Hey. What's wrong?" I heard him ask me as he rushed toward me to hug me.

"Those." I was stuttering, "Those are mom's keys."

"Oh shit, Bells. I didn't even realize. Are you okay? They're the only keys we have here." You could hear the worry in his voice.

"I'm fine." I said as I wiped my eyes. "It's just hard. Were those keys with them when they were driving?" I asked him.

"Oh uhm. I don't know Bells. But my guess is either that or they gave them to mom for some reason."

"Oh." Was all I could say to that, it nearly broke me again that there was something in the house that was with my parents when they died. I don't know if I wanted it, or wanted it gone!

"Come on Bells. Let's go to your house. They're just keys, and I can get rid of them as soon as I find your keys okay? I promise nothing is gonna hurt you." He said with a sad smile as he grabbed my hand.

Realistically we could have walked to my house, as it was only three doors down from where we were. But he decided we needed to drive since it was so late, not to mention cold.

Living so close to each other was always one of the conveniences by the four of us being so close. Granted it was always Emmett and Edward and me and Alice. It was rare that the four of us were together as young kids just because of our age differences. The boys were five years older than us. I can't tell you how many times I covered for Emmett to sneak out of the house to go party with Edward. Which was funny because I was so much younger. When he started partying, I was eleven. But I was daddy's little girl, and could get away with anything with him. Which included covering for Emmett.

We were at the house before I knew it, and Edward got out of the car. I went to open my door and froze. I couldn't do this. I wanted to, and I know I needed to, but I'm scared. I'm just a little girl who needs her parents, and they are gone. That's when the tears started.

Edward opened my door and was talking to me. I could hear his voice, but I was so focused on my own thoughts that I couldn't concentrate on the words coming out of his mouth.

"Bella? Can you hear me?" I heard him ask me. Although I wasn't sure what else he had said to me. I could hear panic in his voice.

"Yea. Sorry. I was distracted." I felt bad that it took me so long to answer him.

"It's okay. You just scared me. I almost thought I was gonna have to go get dad." He tried to chuckle at that statement, but it was weak. I knew he just wanted me to smile but how was I supposed to smile when I was going back into my home.

My home, I internally scoffed at that thought. A home is where your family goes, and where you are supposed to feel safe. The only family I had left was Emmett. We couldn't be a family with just the two of us. Who was going to put presents under the tree at Christmas? Throw us random birthday parties like mom always has. I remember one time she booked me a party at an indoor skydiving center. We all showed up and realized you had to be at least 14 in order to fly. I was only 10 at the time. Or the time she threw Emmett a tea party because he was obsessed with cookies. It was hilarious,

I was going to miss all of my mom's quirks like crazy. I held myself almost as if it were her hugging me. I really just wanted my mom to hug me right now. Just then I felt arms wrap around me.

"Come on Bells. Let's go inside before you get sick okay?" I heard Edward ask me.

"Okay." I said as he let me go and grabbed my hand.

I was walking extremely slowly, but I was scared I would lose it once I stepped foot in the door. Luckily, on the entire walk Edward held my hand tightly in his, with me tucked close into his side.

We got to the door faster than I would have liked, and again, I froze. He had to drag me through the door just to get me inside.

"Come on Baby Girl, I'll keep you safe don't worry." I heard him tell me.

Surprisingly, it was easier than I thought it would be going back inside. Probably because Edward was with me. Walking in I smelt a mixture of my mom's perfume as well as my dad's cologne. To anyone other than me, and maybe Emmett, it would be a weird combination. But to us, it was home. The house was exactly how we had left it. Mom had her sewing stuff on the counter, because she refused to do it at the table. Dad's had his fishing gear on the table getting it ready to go fishing the following weekend. Sadly, none of it will ever get used again.

I could feel his eyes on me. Normally, I find it creepy and weird when people stare at me. But today, right now, I wasn't under scrutiny. I could sense worry, love, and tenderness. I've known him long enough to know he was worried about me.

I slowly walked over to him, running my hands along all the furniture I could reach. I looked up at him, and there was sadness written all over his face. I never stopped to think that this would be hard on him as well. He was standing next to my dad's chair. The one we would all fight over when there was something good on TV because it had the best shot.

Growing up, Carlisle was always busy at the hospital. That doesn't mean he was a bad father to Edward or Alice, it just means it was rare that he was home. So my dad took Edward with him and Emmett when they went fishing, or to do the "man" things. My dad was the more outdoorsy of our dads.

Before I knew it, I jumped up onto him and attached myself to him. He was built like Emmett, except an inch or so shorter. He caught me, and was clinging to me as much as I was him.

"It's okay Edward. We can do this together." I told him. I don't think any of us should have to say goodbye alone. I just wish I had been able to wait coming here until Emmett and Alice could come too.

"Come on. We should get to sleep." He was cold with his words, but I know it's because he was hurting. "I'll just sleep in Emmett's room okay?"

"That's fine. You know he won't care." I didn't want to let go of him, even though I knew I should. I released him a little bit, and slid down. I think we were both needing to feel close to someone because next thing I knew, he grabbed my hand again as we were walking up the stairs to the rooms.

"Night Bells. I'm next door if you need me." He smiled at me.

"Same goes for you ok?" I tried to smile at him, I swear I did. But it was next to impossible. I silently walked over to my bedroom as Edward walked towards Emmett's. I had a feeling it was going to be a very long night.

Sitting in my room it felt like nothing had gone wrong in the last three weeks. I smiled at that thought because in here, felt as if my world was whole. Like I could walk downstairs and see them again. There was a picture on my desk of all of us; me, Emmett, Mom, and Dad. It was taken at our last family vacation in Maui. The Cullen's were there as well, but this picture, it was just us. Our two families always went of vacations together because the parents thought it was "safer." In other words, Alice and I had two older boys to watch us, and Emmett and Edward had two little girls who would rat them out to the parents if they did anything they shouldn't. All while our parents were off spending money on alcohol. It was alright with the four of us though. We always found stuff to do together despite the age difference.

I can't say everything in our life was picnics and games though. We fought, a lot. Just two months ago, when the guys were home visiting for the weekend, Edward tripped me while I was running and I ran into Alice; which in turn made both of us fall. We fell down probably 10 stairs or so and the parentals thought we were hurt. Sure, we had a couple of bruises, but it was nothing we couldn't handle. Alice thought I had purposely pushed her, but I was trying to make her see that Edward had tripped me. Because I was such a klutz, no one believed me. It turned into a huge ordeal to where Alice and I didn't talk for almost a month, and Edward and I didn't talk at all face-to-face until all of this happened, but there had been a few text messages here and there.

Mom and Dad, and even Carlisle and Esme, were upset with all of us and tried to force us to talk saying we had been friends since before we could even remember and that was no way we treated our friends. Of course with us all being stubborn, no one said a word.

Thinking about the little things about mom and dad that I would miss, I started to get lonely; but I didn't want to wake Edward up and make him think I was a total baby. I decided to try to go sleep in their room; maybe I would feel a little bit closer to them.

Quietly, I made my way down the hall to their room. Their door was closed; I knew I shouldn't be going in here by myself; I should have done this with Emmett. He was going to need me as much as I need him. But I can't stop myself, I'm selfish and I needed to feel as close to my parents as possible. I slowly opened their door, and the smell of them was flooding my nose. I could feel my eyes start to fill with tears, but I fought them off. I walked over to their dresser, and found moms jewelry all in the little dish I had made her when I was in Kindergarten. I loved that she was so sentimental and kept those things even though they were hideous.

Walking away from their dresser I made my way over to their bed and crawled into it clutching their pillows. I remember as younger, I would come in here and sleep in between them whenever I was scared, or had a bad dream. Usually, dad snored and mom would kick him thinking he was keeping me awake. Lying in their bed was comfortable, but made me cry. I knew I would never want this to end. Their smells would eventually disappear, but we would always have those memories. I just had to remember that even though they were no longer here with us, they were in our hearts and in all of our memories.

I don't know when I fell asleep, but I woke up with someone shaking me. My first thought, is that it was Emmett, but then I remembered that he wasn't there.

"Wake up Bells." I heard the voice as it was shaking me. "Come on Baby Girl wake up." I heard again.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Why are you shaking me?"

"You were crying in your sleep. I could hear you from down the hall." He said to me, "Scoot over."

I scooted towards the middle of the bed and let him climb in next to me.

"Come here." He said, and I didn't wait. I was instantly in his arms and tucked into his side. "Tell me what your dream was about."

"I honestly don't know. I don't even remember dreaming."

"It's okay to be sad Bells. We're all sad. You just have to remember that you are not alone."

"I know but I feel like I am. Even Emmett is gone." I said to him quietly.

"I called him when I went into his room and he is driving back tomorrow. I think he needs you just as much as you need him. You two have to remember that you have all of us too."

"I know that, but what happens when you leave Edward?" I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. I don't know if I could do this alone. Every night that I woke up crying, Edward would come in and hold me.

"You know I'm just a phone call away. But you will have Emmett and Alice, mom and dad." He paused as he was talking. "Plus, you know it's wrong that we end up in bed together every night even if nothing is happening between us." He looked at me, and it seemed like this was hard on him.

"How is it wrong? You are just making sure I'm okay." I was serious. I didn't understand why it would be wrong.

"Bells, I'm five years old than you; and you're a minor. People are going to get the wrong impression."

"What people Edward? It's not like we've never slept in the same bed before." Plus, no one knew we were in bed together every night. He always snuck in after everyone was asleep and was gone before everyone woke up.

"Everyone if they knew." He chuckled at me, "Plus when we shared a bed together I was six and you were one. Not to mention we were on a family vacation with all four of us in bed together." He smiled again at that. "We used to have fun family vacations didn't we?"

Great topic change there Edward. I internally rolled my eyes at that. He had to know that I had a huge crush on him. He's actually the first crush I have ever had.

"Yea we did." I responded. I had no desire to lay here and talk about all of the amazing memories the 12 of us had made together.

We both stopped talking, and eventually we fell asleep. It felt weird falling asleep with Edward in my parent's bed; but I didn't want to be alone, that much I was sure of. Edward made the dreams go away, and being in my parent's bed was as close as I could get to them.


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing, SM does. I just like writing! **

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke up alone. My brain felt like a jumbled mess because at first I couldn't place where I was. After looking around for a few minutes, I remembered Edward and I had fallen asleep in my parents bed. I had no clue what time it was because mom refused to keep a clock in their room. She used to say it was because she wanted as much alone time with my dad as possible and without a clock they wouldn't know how long they were in here together and therefore it would feel like forever.<p>

Making my way downstairs, I heard talking; but it was really them quietly yelling at each other. I could immediately tell it was Edward and Emmett. I smiled knowing my brother was home, but that meant that Edward would be leaving soon. I hid on the stairs because I didn't want them to know that I was there, I wanted to hear what they were arguing about.

"Dude, why the fuck were you in bed with her?" I heard Emmett yell at Edward.

"Calm down man. She's been having nightmares that make her scream. Who else was supposed to help her?"

"Your mom, Alice, even your dad! It's just wrong that you, at 20 years old, were in bed with my 15 year old sister!"

"Okay I get that. But I just wanted to help her. You know I would do the same for Alice if the situation were reversed." I heard Edward say.

Does that means he viewed me like a little sister? That thought made me want to cry because I have always had a crush on him, despite the age difference.

"But Alice is your sister, so it's different. Don't fucking tell me you wouldn't be pissed if you came home and found me in bed with Alice and we were fucking spooning!" Emmett was most definitely pissed.

"Fuck man. We were asleep. I swear to you on everything that we fell asleep with her head on my shoulder. There was nothing sexual going on! That's illegal for fucks sake!"

I decided at this point I should make myself known. Mainly to save Edward, but because I missed my brother and needed him. I backed up a few stairs and tried to make it sound like I had stumbled.

Our house, while it technically only had one stair case, had a flat halfway down it and from there it went in two different directions. One side went into the kitchen/dining room and one went towards the front door. At the top of the stairs there were two bedrooms, mine and Emmett's and at the other end of the hall was Mom and Dad's room along with the guest room that held my secret play room up above it. I loved our house, mainly because dad had designed it. But being that I was his princess, I got all the perks. In the closet of the guest room there was a ladder; if you went to the top of that ladder, there was a hatch door that hid my secret play room.

I can't even begin to tell you how often Alice and I had hid up here from Emmett and Edward. For the longest time, they didn't even know this room existed.

Walking down those stairs towards the boys, I was scared. I didn't want Emmett mad at me or at Edward.

"Oh hi Baby Girl." Emmett said to me, "I missed you."

"I missed you too Emmett." I smiled at him as I hugged him.

"So you and Eddie have been staying out of trouble right?" He looks between the two of us like there is more going on.

"Emmett shut the hell up."

"What? I just need to make sure my baby sister is okay is all." H shrugs his shoulders as he walks off.

"Sorry Edward, I heard him yelling at you."

"It's okay Bells. No biggie." And he walked off. See what I mean about the mood swings? He is one way with me one minute and another the next. It becomes a headache after awhile.

I knew Edward had to go back to school soon. Emmett was here now, so I wasn't going to be alone; but I was going to miss him regardless. I decided I needed to distance myself that way when he left, it wouldn't be so difficult for me.

Knowing that everything in my life had changed, I needed to get out. To do something that all 15 year olds do. My birthday was in three weeks, and I refuse to spend it sulking, even if I was depressed. That was when I decided to text Alice, and get the hell out of this.

**'Hey Al. What R U Doing?-B'**

**'Sitting Home. Come over? -*A*'**

**'On my way. Gotta get rid of the goons.-B'**

**':)-*A*'**

Convincing both Emmett and Edward to let me go out by myself was going to be easier said than done.

"Hey Emmett? I'm gonna go see Alice for a bit okay?" I yelled at him.

"Ok. Let me come down and I'll drive you!" He yelled back at me since he was upstairs and I was in the kitchen still.

"I can walk you idiot! It's three houses away!" Screw this, he was not going to take everything away from me!

"Bella God damn it! Let me just drive you!" I could hear him doing a stomp type of run down the stairs and knew he was irritated with me. I just didn't understand why; I just wanted to walk three houses down to see Alice.

"What the fuck is your problem you moron? I am just going to Alice's house! We've walked there so many times I can't even count!"

"Don't talk to me like that! Whether you're mad at me or not I'm still in charge of you and I can ground you." Did he really just say that? "I don't want anything to happen to you Bella. We lost mom and dad, I don't need to lose you too!"

"Really Emmett? We live in the nicest neighborhood in Forks. Everyone in town knows us, and it's three fucking houses! You can even stand outside and watch me walk there! Fuck you. You may be older and in charge, but you're still just my brother and you're not taking this away from me too!" I was livid. He is going to take everything away from me with his fears. After yelling this at him, I stormed my way out the front door, and slammed it behind me.

"BELLA FUCKING COME BACK HERE!" I heard him yell after me. Oh well, I really don't care right now.

**'He's just worried about you.-E'**

Really? He texts me now and acts like he cares when earlier it was like it was no big deal?

**'Yep.-B'**

**'Bells don't be like this.-E'**

**'Whatever Edward. I'm done for now.-B'**

**'Just be careful-E'**

I stopped responding to him because there is no way in hell I want to give in and go home and apologize to Emmett. I knew I was being immature about this entire thing, but Emmett had no reason to yell at me like he did.

Before I knew it, I was at the Cullen's house. Most neighbors knock before they go in, but this was my second home so I didn't even bother and I just went straight in.

"Hello?" I heard Esme calling to see who it was.

"It's me Esme!" I let her know she was safe, as if it was even an option to not be.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" She yelled as she met me in the entryway. Oh shit, I was in trouble. "What is this I hear you and Emmett are fighting? And let's not forget that you had Edward come in and tell us you two were leaving. Why were you guys even together in the middle of the night to begin with?" You could tell by the way her face was scrunched that she was indeed pissed.

"Sorry Esme. But he is treating me like a fucking baby! I'm old enough to walk over here by damn myself! I don't need to be babysat every minute of the damn day!" I instantly slapped my hand over my mouth once I realized what I had said. I can't believe I just said that to Esme of all people!

Her eyes fell out of sadness. "Bella Honey, he only did it because he cares. You have been a mess since everything happened, which is understandable, we all have. But Emmett thinks he is all you have. He forgets that we all need to be here for each other okay? Sweetie, he just wants to help you. Now, care to explain to me why you and Edward were together in the middle of the night?" She asked with her left eyebrow lifted. The look on her face meant she meant business, and we better answer any and all of her questions.

"I had a nightmare." I said looking down. "He was just trying to make me feel better. I wanted to go home so he took me. I promise nothing was happening." I looked up at her with tears in my eyes because I felt like I was in trouble for something that I hadn't done.

"Oh, honey stop. I know nothing happened. It isn't the first time you two have been caught in bed together am I right?" I blushed at her comment. "Just don't get too attached to him baby, he has to go back to school soon."

"I know Esme. Thank you."

"Go on up and see Alice. I know that's why you're here anyways." She kissed the top of my head as she stood up. "I love you Bella."

"Love you too Esme." I got up and ran up the stairs to Alice's room. Of course, I stumbled on a few stairs on the way.

*knock knock*

"Come in Bells!" I heard her chirp at me.

"Hey Al. What are you doing?" I laughed at her, it felt really good to laugh with sincerity.

"Just getting ready for tonight." She beamed with happiness.

"What's tonight?"

"Only the most awesome party ever down at La Push beach! You should go with me!" She squealed.

"I dunno Alice. Won't we get in trouble?"

Even though things had been weird between us for so long, we picked right back up like everything was perfectly fine. Between the two of us, she was always the adventurous one, where I was more quiet and kept to myself. She was the one to push the buttons of our parents, and I was the one to get us out of trouble.

"Oh Bells come on! Who's going to ground you? Emmett? Like he is one to talk!" She slapped her hand over her mouth when she realized what came out. "Bella I am so sorry. I didn't mean anything bad by it, it's just, ya know? Hard to deal with I guess. But I'm sure it's even harder for you! Shit I'm rambling. I just.."

"Alice stop!" I interrupted her with a laugh. She was right. Who was going to ground me? Mom and dad weren't here, and with Em being back I could start staying at my house tonight. "Okay, I wanna go."

Over the next few hours we spent our time acting like normal fifteen year old girls. Well, normal for Alice. I was never into the whole nails and clothes type of things; I was content to be in jeans, T-shirt and my con's. I didn't care if my toes were painted, or my hair was highlighted just right, as long as I was clean.

Being that Alice is so obsessed with clothes, I knew there was no way in hell she was going to let me go to this party in what I prefer. Instead, she put me in a skimpy black skirt, with a navy blue top. Luckily, I was able to convince her to let me wear some black flats. I knew without a doubt if we were out at the beach, and I was in heels, I would fall flat on my face! Sand is hard to walk in regardless of if you are in heels, flats or even barefoot in my case.

"Mom, Dad! Bella and I are going to a Bonfire down at La Push!" Alice yelled to Esme and Carlisle.

"Okay, girls. Just be safe and be back by eleven okay?" Esme yelled back at us.

The one thing you never questioned was who ran things in this household. Esme absolutely wore the pants in that relationship, and Carlisle just nodded his head and agreed to keep his wife happy. He always told us, "a happy wife makes a happy life." This of course was said without her being able to hear him.

La Push Beach wasn't far from our homes. We were lucky enough to have a path that lead from the edge of the beach all the way up to our subdivision. It was technically considered a bike path, but it was rarely used as such. It was going to come in handy tonight; this way, no one had to drive us or pick us up.

Making our way down the path was fun. Just us girls, being well, girls. We laughed, we joked, and smiled a lot. I, of course, tripped about ten times which is pathetic because the walk took about fifteen minutes total.

Rounding the edge of the beach, the music was in full swing already. There were people everywhere; some I knew, many I didn't. Even though this was a high school party, there were many people from previous graduating classes. Oh the joys of living in a small town; I think I even spotted a teacher or two.

"Bella, here, drink this!" I heard Alice yell at me over the music.

"What is it?" I looked at her with concern on my face.

"It's JD. It isn't the greatest, but it could be worse."

"Okay. I guess." I took a sip, scared to see how it was going to taste since this was the first alcohol I had ever had. I grimaced as it hit my tongue and nearly spit it out; it was probably the grossest thing I had ever tasted.

Alice laughed at my facial expressions, "You okay there, Bells?"

"Yep. Just wasn't expecting that is all. I think I want to taste the beer? Maybe that goes down smoother." I said with a shrug of my shoulders. I just wanted to not feel anything anymore. I want to let loose and just be, after everything I've been through I don't think that was asking too much.

When you've never drank before, nothing goes down smooth. It was either that, or my taste buds couldn't handle it. However, after a couple of beers, I wasn't tasting much of anything. My body felt numb, and I was loving everyone. Everyone seemed to be hooking up with someone else, and I was dancing with Alice to the band that was there. Really, it was just a group of guys we went to school with who thought they were cool. I think if I hadn't been drinking, I would have thought they sucked.

Alice and I didn't have a care in the world. By this point, I was what you would call drunk. I couldn't walk straight, but I didn't care. I laughed at everything it seemed, even if it wasn't funny. At some point, Alice disappeared, my guess was when I went to get another drink. I was on the search for her when I slipped and felt someone grab my arm.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Emmett shouted at me.

"What the hell does it look like, Emmett? I'm having a good time and enjoying myself!" I yelled back at him. Hopefully, it came out correct and I didn't stumble over my words too much. He would freak out if he knew how much I had drank.

"You are too young for this shit!" He was still yelling, I could tell he was pissed.

"Emmett, calm down, man. If she's here, it means Alice is too. Bells, do you know where she is?" Edward asked me.

"No idea. I was looking for her when this idiot grabbed me." I had no desire to talk to Emmett. I truly hope he got that point by the look I was giving him. Sure, I was acting like a brat, but who the fuck cares?

"Emmett, you go look for her. I'll go with Bells so she isn't alone and we'll look for her too okay?" Edward was always the voice of reason.

"Fine. Just don't let her drink anymore. Who the hell knows how much she has already had." He said as he stormed off to look for Alice. I thought it was funny with how pissed he was. Edward started walking away from me the minute Emmett turned away.

"Come on, Bella." He said with absolutely no emotion in his voice.

"Edward? What's wrong?" I felt scared, this isn't how Edward usually was around me.

"Nothing, just come on." Again, with a flat voice.

We started walking around the beach looking for Alice when he instantly stopped walking. Being as drunk as I was I literally ran into his back since I had been watching my feet instead of where I was going.

"Sorry." I said to him quietly. I could tell he was mad, or at least irritated, and I didn't want to make it worse. He sighed the minute I said it, and you could sense the annoyance coming off of him.

"Bells, just stop, okay? Stop apologizing."

"Why? I am sorry, I ran into you and didn't mean to." I truly didn't understand why he was acting like this.

"You shouldn't be sorry, I should be."

"What are you talking about?" I hiccuped as I said this to him.

"You don't get it do you? I want you. More than I should, and it isn't even legal!" He semi-yelled as he rubbed his face. This was his sign of frustration, he's done it since forever. "I want to be able to kiss you and not get told that it's wrong."

"It isn't wrong, Edward. I want you to too." He looked up at me through his thick eyelashes, and all you saw was worry etched on his face. "Just kiss me, Edward. No one, but us, will know." The next thing I knew he grabbed my face, and went to kiss me.

I just don't know if this is something I would have done if I were sober. The only thing I do know, is that kiss from him changed everything between us whether we knew it or not.

* * *

><p><strong>Leave some love and tell me what you think please? <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

Hello lovlies!

I own nothing, SM does.

Thanks to my amazing Beta, she rocks my socks!

* * *

><p>It had been six months since Edward kissed me that night at the party; the night my life changed. He texted me a few days later telling me everything was a mistake and never should have happened; I ignored it. I couldn't bring myself to respond to it when I didn't feel as though it were a mistake. I knew without a doubt that one day he would be the one I would marry. I was also well aware that there was no way I wanted it anytime soon. I wanted to live my life and be who I was before I even thought about attaching myself to someone permanently. I mean for Christ's sakes! I had just turned 16! It isn't normal to consider those types feelings at this age! Yes, you heard me right; I turned 16 in the last few months. This was the first birthday I could remember where I didn't spend it with Alice, Emmett and Edward. I did, however, spend my day with Alice. We went shopping for clothes for the party we were going to that night. Instead of the normal family birthdays I was so used to, I spent my night drunk, and I don't remember a thing that happened to me.<p>

I hadn't seen him in five and a half months since he went back to school. At first, I was mad that he would go back so quickly after that night, but I understood it. He was twenty, and I was fifteen. Realistically it wouldn't work, at least for a while, until I was of age. When it came down to it, and I stopped sleeping next to him, I also stopped sleeping. The nightmares became too much to handle. I found relief in one of two ways; sleeping pills that Carlisle had prescribed me, or to get so drunk I didn't remember falling asleep. I know it wasn't the smartest way to handle things, but it was my version of dealing.

Today, Alice and I were out shopping, again. What can I say? I changed my ways over the last few months. I still preferred my jeans and t-shirts, but when we went out, I usually dressed the part. The only part I refused to give in on were the heels since I couldn't walk in them! I stuck to cute little flats, or sandals of some form. I had quite the collection going on if I do say so myself. My other obsession became lingerie. We're not talking the porn star status, we're talking cute matching sets of bras and panties. I don't know what it was, but it made me feel better about myself.

"What do you think of this?" I asked Alice as I held up a corset top.

"I dunno Bells. It's gonna be cold tonight. Maybe we need something that says, 'I'm not freezing my ass off' but yet we can still look sexy ya know?"

"Like what Alice?" Images were running through my head. I could picture the exact type of outfit I would wear, but the question was where do we start looking?

"Maybe a super sexy long sleeve top, showing a little cleavage. Okay, a lot of cleavage." She smiled a smile that one would say was evil. In the life of Alice, it simply meant she was up to something.

"Okay. I know just where to go! Hollister!" I grabbed her hand as we made our way to the store with our arms intertwined.

Walking in, of course all the sweaters were right up front with the scarves and such. It made sense since we were in the beginning of winter. Luckily, we had no snow yet, but it was cold! We walked around looking for the perfect outfit. I saw a bunch of different colored long sleeve shirts, and even some short sleeved ones. I grabbed some and took them into a fitting room to see what would look best.

After trying on probably six different tops, all of which looked amazing on me, or so Alice told me, I got to my last one. It was a white long sleeve with six buttons up at the top of it. On either side of the buttons, there was this lace type of print, it was perfect. I could leave the top few buttons undone, and add a lace lined bra that you would see. I just needed Alice's seal of approval first.

"Hey Al?" I called her, knowing she was on the other side of my changing room.

"Yea B what's up?"

"I need you to come give me your approval on this top. I think I'm going to buy it either way, but I need approval for tonight."

I waited for a minute until she was knocking on the door, alerting me that she was just on the other side. I quickly let her in my dressing room, for her to look at my shirt.

"Oh my God Bella!" she gasped, "You have to get that shirt in probably every color available!"

"I take it you like it?" I questioned as I looked at myself in the mirror from every angle possible.

"Like it? I love it!" She squealed as her purse beeped indicating she had a text. Whoever it was, she texted back with a mysterious look on her face.

"What are you up to Alice?"

"What do you mean?" The tone in her voice indicated she was indeed up to something; I just had to figure out what. She needs to remember I've known her forever.

"The look on your face and that tone of voice tells me you're up to something. What is it?" I questioned her with a raised eyebrow and my hands on my hips. Sure, typical girl stance, but it got the job done when it neededit!

"Nothing, I was just texting Edward. He said something stupid, and it made me laugh." She was dodging, she wouldn'tlook me directly in the eye.

"Alice..."

"What? I swear that's all it was!" She said with hands raised in the air.

"Whatever. I'll let it go for now, but don't think I've forgotten it. Now get out of here so I can change!" I said as I pushed her out of my dressing room.

*beep*beep* my phone went off indicating I had a text.

**'When R U going 2 b home?-Em'**

**'When I'm done.-B'**

Emmett texted me at random times to see where I was and what I was doing ever since he had found out I had taken up drinking. He didn't stop me because it would make him a hypocrite, but he didn't necessarily like it either.

I've also become quite the bitch lately. I guess in a sense it's because I've been hurt. Not only from losing my parents, but also because of Emmett being so damn strict with me. He used to be my fun, loving bear of a big brother. But it seems that he is taking his "parent" role way toofar. He doesn't seem to understand that if he continues this, it's going to push me away. Edward not even talking to me after everything that happened was almost like torture. Sure, it was just a kiss, but for us that was huge. Him not being in my life hasn't been easy that's for sure. I might claim that Alice is my best friend, but truth of the matter is, the race is tough between the two of them, and if I ever had to choose between the two of them, I want to say the bigger percentage of my choice would go to him.

Alice and I finished our shopping, which of course I did get that shirt in three different colors since I loved it so much. We made our way to Starbucks and got our usual drinks. Mine was an iced non-fat white mocha with caramel drizzle, light ice, and no whip, while Alice got her typical iced soy non-fat latte. So originalthat one.

In the middle of the mall, they were doing this set up for the local talent show that was put on every few months, these things were hilarious! Some of the people that participated were just total jokes. Think along the lines of American Idol rejects for the singers, only worse. Those that were decent were too stuck up to participate in these types of things. What with us being such a small town and all.

One of my all-time favorite things to do, was people watch. Have you ever just sat somewhere and watched those that were around you? I highly recommend it. You would see some of the most awkward things around you, and probably pretty interesting things if you just paid close attention. Instead of going home, that is what we decided to do since the talent show was being set up, all the weirdos were out to play that day.

We saw cross dressers, couples fighting, couples kissing, grown men with their pants way below their waste lines, girls with skirts so short you could see butt lip. You name it; you could probably find it here somewhere.

"Excuse me?" I heard someone say from behind us.

I turned around to a beautiful blonde girl standing behind me.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I was watching you guys shop earlier and the way both of you handled your bodies was amazing. I'm looking for two girls to model some of my stuff in the talent show, and was wondering if you'd be willing to help me out. The two girls who usually help me got food poisoning from the food court and won't stop throwing up. It has been so crazy!"

"Who are you?" I heard Alice pipe in. I looked at her and she had one eyebrow raised, with her hands on her hips.

"Sorry, I guess I should have introduced myself. My name is Tanya. I've been working on getting my own clothing up and going. All the designs are one hundred percent original. Oh, and you can keep everything you wear for me."

"You said your name was Tanya, was that it? Sorry sweetie, but the only clothes that either of us will ever be wearing in any type of fashion show will be mine."

I was shocked at how bitchy Alice was being. She was the sweet one out of the two of us!

"Alice.." I started to say a little under my breath. Being a bitch to me was fine, but to a total stranger who was just asking for help was completely rude!

"No, no it's okay. It was rude of me to even approach you to ask you. You two have a great day, and I really hope you enjoy the show if you stick around for it." Tanya said as she walked off.

"Alice what the fuck is wrong with you? She was just looking for a little bit of help!"

"Oh well. I will be a famous designer someday, just wait and see. Therefore the only designer clothes you will be wearing will be mine."

"Even still, there was no need to be so rude to her Al. Let's just get out of here, okay? I'm kinda over all of this." I said with a wave of my hands around.

"Fine by me. You know mom will want us to hang out at home for a bit before we go out anyway." She said with a shrug of her shoulders.

We left the mall, and got into her car. Carlisle and Esme had bought it for her for her birthday; it was a brand new mini cooper. She wanted something more extravagant, but they told her she wasn't responsible enough yet. Blasting the music, we made our way to her house. The only abnormal thing about our drive home is that she kept checking her phone. For what, I was unsure of though.

"Oh hi girls! I didn't know you were coming home so soon or I would have made dinner for you guys. Your dad and I were going to head out tonight." Esme said to us as we were walking in. "Here'ssome money girls, you guys can just order in on us. Does that sound alright?"

"It sounds perfect Esme." I smiled at her and gave her a hug.

"You girls be good and stay out of trouble you hear me?" She was pointing her finger at me like a mother should.

After Esme left, we ordered in some Chinese food, and got ready for the party. I wore the long sleeved white shirt I bought today, and paired it with my favorite pair of skinny jeans. For shoes, I decided on my brown knee high boots and had a brown belt of the same shade to tie it all together. I decided to go with simple, and left my hair down normal. Luckily, I have a little natural curl to it, so it works without having to actually do my hair.

The party was being held at a girl named Jessica's house. We went to school with her, and her parents were the ones having the party for them and their friends, but they didn't care we teenagers came as well.

**'Hey..Gonna stay w/Alice 2night.-B' I texted Emmett to let him know to not expect me home. **

**'R U guys going out?-Em' He responded with quickly.**

**'Ya. 2 Jess' house.-B'**

**'Just B Careful babygirl. Call if u need a ride-Em' Well I'll be damned. Wasn't expecting that response! **

**'Thx. Will do.-B'**

I truly was shocked that Emmett was being so understanding with everything. Normally he tried to pretend like it just wasn't happening. If it was't acknowledged it doesn't exist right?

"Tonight is going to be a blast Bells! I can feel it!" Alice yelled over the music in her car. We were headed to the party, and I had a feeling she was right. I was going to enjoy myself tonight.

By the time we got there, which sadly only took about ten minutes to drive to, the party was in full swing. We were well known girls, so when we walked in everyone seemed happy to see us. I wouldn't say we were top of the chain in our high school since we didn't play sports and neither of us were cheer leaders. But with who are brothers were, it set us up for a great high school experience. Most girls wanted to be friends with us simply to be near them, and most guys wanted to just have the chance to be there friend. It was truly pathetic.

Drinks were given to us instantly, which we both readily accepted.

"Hey Bells, I'll catch up with you k? I'm gonna see if Jasper is here." She said to me with a hint of mischief in her eyes.

"You do that Al. Just don't do anything I wouldn't do!" I smiled back at her. Truth is, I know she wants Jasper, always has really. I just don't think he's interested. He's three years older than us, and has never once glanced in her direction more than to say hello.

"Hey B what's up?" Mike yelled over all the music.

"Not a whole lot my friend. Just enjoying my beer here." I showed him with a raised cup.

"How many you down? Looks like you could use a refill."

"Had two so far. Could go for a third if you're willing to go get it for me." One benefit of being female is that all guys would do anything to get a girl drunk. Even if it meant getting their alcohol for them.

He scurried off to go get my drink as I chuckled at him. He was clearly already pretty buzzed, and I was also beginning to feel the alcohol in my system. Not enough to say that I was drunk, but enough that it was altering my mind a tad.

I sat there and watched those around me while I waited for Mike to bring my drink back to me. There was a couple to my left who was sitting here just making out. In one sense, I was jealous that I don't get that, and in another I was disgusted because truly, that stuff should all be kept private. The jealousy was absolutely taking over though as I sat here and remembered the night that Edward kissed me, and the last time I saw him.

_"You don't get it do you? I want you. More than I should, and it isn't even legal!" He semi yelled as he rubbed his face. This was his sign of frustration, he's done it since forever. "I want to be able to kiss you and not get told its wrong."_

_"It isn't wrong Edward. I want you to too." He looked up at me through his thick eyelashes, and all you saw was worry etched on his face. "Just kiss me Edward. No one but us will know." The next thing I knew he grabbed my face, and went to kiss me._

_The second he grabbed my face his lips were on mine. You could tell he was scared to move them. Not because of what was happening but simply out of fear that he wouldn't be able to stop. Instead of allowing him to take the lead here, I jumped the gun and did it myself. I started to move my lips against his, still awaiting a point for him to move as well. I was about to give up hope when I felt his body relax, and his lips move against mine. This was absolutely the best sensation I had ever felt!_

_I had never truly been kissed before. Sure I'd had little pecks here and there, but nothing felt quite like this. I felt his tongue brush against my bottom lip asking for entrance which I greedily accepted. I wanted to taste him. I was nervous; I won't even begin to lie there. I had never done this before, was I even doing it right?_

_He took one hand off of my face and moved it to my hip and pulled me flush against him. His chest was pressed tight against mine, and I could feel that he was shaking._

_His lips were soft, they molded perfectly against mine. The way his tongue brushed against mine made me almost forget my name. I felt as if I couldn't get closer to him, I wanted more. It felt like everything you dream of as a little girl. When your Prince Charming will come and kiss you awake, and that is exactly what he did._

_I threaded my fingers into his hair which made him groan into my mouth and grip my hips tighter than he was before. I felt him bite down a little bit on my lower lip and holy fuck did that make me want him more than I already did. I moaned into his mouth, and it shocked me. I had never heard myself make such a noise before. I just wish I hadn't made it. I felt his lips stop, and he started to push me away. But I kept going- I truly believed that I could make him continue kissing me. I know he wanted it just as much as I did._

_"Baby stop." He said into my mouth. I made no comment, only tried to continue kissing him._

_"Baby girl, seriously, we need to stop." He said and pushed me further away, but never fully letting go._

_"Edward stop talking, and keep kissing me." I said as I pulled him closer by his hair, making him groan again._

_"Bells, we need to stop." He said with more force as he fully let me go. I instantly missed his body pressed against mine._

_"Why?" I asked him._

_"Baby its wrong. You know this. What would Em say if he walked around the corner and saw us?" He was pulling at his hair again. I knew this was going to eat at him._

_"Who gives a fuck what Emmett thinks!" He looked up at me with a shocked expression on his face. "Do you truly think that no one thought this would happen?" I gestured between the two of us._

_"Bells, you're sixteen. I'm getting ready to turn twenty-one, and you're drunk." The look in his eyes, I couldn't quite place. It was unlike anything I had ever seen from him before._

_"Are you for real right now? This is insane. You can't kiss me the way that you just did and then tell me we have to stop! You wanted it just as much as I did Edward and don't you dare fucking deny that!" I was livid! How dare he tell me it was wrong!_

_You could see the look on his face, and that he wanted to respond to me, but Emmett walked around the corner at that exact moment and interrupted our conversation. I knew it wouldn't be continued with him here._

_"Hey guys I found Alice. She was off with that Jasper kid. She's in the car and completely wasted. Let's get outta here. Hey you two okay?" Emmett said as he pointed between us._

_"Fine. Let's just go." I said to him and turned around to walk to the car._

"Hey B here's your beer." I heard Mike say to me and snap me out of my trance.

"Thank you my friend!" I said to him as I drank the beer. I needed something stronger than this though. "Hey any idea where there's something stronger?" I questioned him.

"I have a bottle of vodka in the car. I froze it so that it would stay cold." He smiled at me. He totally thought he was going to get some tonight. HA! As if that would ever happen!

Instead of bringing it into the house, we sat outside and had shot for shot. I can't even begin to tell you how many we had, but I know I was feeling great. It was when Mike started to rub my leg and kiss the side of my face that set me off.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I yelled at him and pushed him away.

"You wanted it Bella. You wanted my vodka!" He stumbled over his words.

"And what in the fuck gives you the idea that I want you? Fucking moron!" Who the fuck did this dude think he is? "You're out of your fucking mind if you think I would want you! Thanks for the alcohol man, but you're killing my buzz. See ya." I said and went the other direction.

I was pissed. Why is it that males automatically think that when a female wants them to get them some alcohol, it means they want sex? Ever stop to think that hey, maybe we just wanted to fucking drink?

Why is it that guys always seem to decide what we want? Or what is right for us? This seriously has me pissed. I grabbed my phone and instantly hit speed dial 2, Edward.

"Hello?" a sleepy Edward answered his phone.

"Edward? Wake up. I need to talk to you and you're going to listen whether you want to or not!"

"Baby girl?" He asked.

"Oh shut the fuck up, you and I both know that I have my own personal ring tone on your phone and you knew it was me calling you! Oh, and don't call me that right now! I'm pissed at you and you calling me that is NOT going to help matters!"

"Wow Bella. What the hell is wrong? And are you drunk?" I could hear in his voice that he was fully awake by this point.

"It doesn't fucking matter if I am drunk or not Edward. All that matters is that i need to say this to you and you need to listen to me." I paused to take a deep breath so that I could actually get this out.

"You're fucking dumb. You never even stopped to think about how I would handle you just disappearing out of my life! You kissed me that night, and made me feel all sorts of different things that I never thought were even possible! Then you tell me it is wrong and leave without somuch as a word to me! What was wrong Edward? Meeting me? Kissing me? FALLING FOR ME? Don't you dare try to fucking deny that you want me just as bad as I want you! I was there, in case you forgot, and I could FEEL how you were responding to me!

"The way you pressed up against me, and gripped me harder when I tugged on your hair!"

I stopped to take a breath again, my cheeks were burning with fire. Partially from being drunk and the other part from being pissed. He was silent, except for the huge sigh he made.

"Bells, the ONLY thing wrong is that you were drunk, and you're so young. You were fifteen Bella. Do you understand that isn't legal? It isn't even legal for you to drink let alone for me to kiss you! Everything would be ruined if people found out!"

"I don't give a flying fuck Edward! You're my best friend! Aside from your sister of course! I get why it is "wrong" as you put it! But it doesn't mean you need to shut me out of your god damn fucking life! I lost my parents already don't you think it was enough for me? Apparently you didn't care since you took YOU out of my life without even asking what I want! I don't even give a shit anymore. Go fuck yourself. Go find yourself a whore that you can fuck and who is "legal" ok? Bye Edward!" I said this and hung up the phone.

I refused to cry! I've cried enough the last few months and I'll be damned if I allow him to make me cry at a party! Fuck Edward Cullen, I don't even care anymore.

* * *

><p>Please leave a review and let me know what you think!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

I own nothing..but I wish I did!

* * *

><p>After I hung up on Edward, I felt like shit for the rest of the night. Of course Mike tried to hit on me again, I shot that down fast! No way on God's green earth that he was going to take advantage of me being upset! Alice disappeared again. Actually, come to think of it I hadn't seen her in a while! I tried to call Emmett to come and get me since he said I could, but he didn't answer. I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and go to sleep.<p>

Standing there, debating what I should do, I decided I could call Esme. She wouldn't be happy that I couldn't find Alice, but I needed to get out of here! Plus, Emmett already thought I was staying at their house, so I might as well take advantage of that. Digging my phone out of my purse, I just typed in her name and it started calling her.

"Bella? Honey what is it? Are you okay? Why are you calling this late?"

"Esme, Alice and I went to Jess' parents party, and I think someone spiked the punch bowl or something, I feel really weird." I told her, putting my baby voice into action.

"Oh my goodness baby! Where is Alice? I'm putting my robe on and coming to get both of you girls right now!" You could hear her in the background looking for shoes or something of the nature.

"I don't know where she is. I've looked everywhere for her, but I can't find her." And cue the fake crying voice.

"Oh honey, hang on. I'll be there in about ten minutes. I'm getting in the car now. I want you to go to the front porch and wait for me there okay? Then I will look for my lovely daughter." There was an annoyance in her voice, no doubt about that! "I'll see you in just a few minutes baby girl." She said as she hung her phone up.

It might be wrong to deceive Esme like that, but why the heck would I admit to drinking to her? Luckily for me, Esme was here in six minutes flat. She never drove that fast!

I had to laugh though when I saw her going off on Mike for being completely inappropriate. I didn't see what he was doing, but I knew it had to be bad for Esme to yell at him. While she was yelling at Mike, I saw Alice walking down the stairs quietly. Someone must have tipped her off that her mom was here.

"ALICE CULLEN GET YOUR BUTT OUT TO THE CAR RIGHT NOW!" Esme yelled at her. Why was she so pissed? Because Alice had clearly been drinking? Because she was lost for God only knows how long? Or because she was trying to sneak out? Watching Alice hustle out through everyone was kind of amusing, even if she was my close friend.

"What the hell Bells? Why is mom here?" She quietly asked me so that no one would hear her. Only problem is that she was drunk, and everyone heard her.

"Alice, I'm here because Bella called me, honey. She couldn't find you and she told me that she thought someone had spiked the punch? If I knew this is how the parties were I would never have let you girls come!"

Alice shot me a side glance silently asking me how the fuck I had convinced Esme that the punch had been spiked. Had there even been punch there? I truly had no idea, but I did know that if Esme was worried enough, she wouldn't even begin to think about it.

The drive home was more awkward than you can imagine. You could feel the tension in the air. Alice was mad at me, for what I wasn't sure of. Esme was upset with both of us, and I was simply lonely.

"Alice you're grounded for two weeks! Bella, while I can't ground you, I'll be talking to Emmett and seeing what he wants to do about this. You girls are too young to be going out and drinking!"

"But mom it's not like we did it on purpose! Bella told you that the drinks had been spiked!" Alice whined to her.

"Which is why you're only getting grounded for two weeks instead of a month. Don't you think it would have been wise to call me the instant you found out that the drinks had been changed? Instead you were off with that boy, and Bella here couldn't even find you!" Boy? What boy was Esme talking about? I'd have to get the details from Alice later.

"Just go up to your rooms girls. Bella, you and I need to talk in the morning okay?"

"Okay Esme, is everything alright?" She was scaring me.

"Its fine honey, go up and get some sleep. I was already planning on talking to you about things tomorrow anyway."

"Okay. Thank you Esme, I love you." I told her as I gave her a hug.

"I love you too baby girl. I love you Alice."

"Yea, whatever mom. Love you too." Alice said as she stomped her way upstairs.

"Go on up to sleep dear. She'll get over it." Esme said as she squeezed my arm a tad.

"Night Esme." I said and quickly made my way upstairs.

Alice was pissed off, you could tell by the way she was stomping around her room and acting like a complete brat.

"Alice what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong? Are you crazy? All because you had to go call mom I lost out on a chance with Jasper!" What? Jasper was there? Well now I feel like shit!

"Alice, I'm sorry. I didn't know he was there! What do you mean though that you missed out on a chance with him?"

"Well, I found him upstairs playing pool so I decided to hang out up there and maybe try to catch his attention. Jess started up a conversation about Mr. Banner and how terrible he was when Jasper chimed in! I used that to my advantage to actually talk to him! We were all talking as a group but eventually it was just the two of us! I can guarantee he would have kissed me if we hadn't been interrupted by Ben saying that mom was there!"

"Well shit Al. I'm sorry!" I highly doubt he would have given into her, but it was worth her thinking he would. I knew this wasn't something she was going to let down. Until he personally shot her down that is. Who knows, by the time that day were to roll around she may have just won him over.

"Bells he is just so sweet!" She gushed.

"That's awesome Alice." I knew my reply was short, but I was in no mood to hear about other guys who were sweet and perfect.

"You okay B?"

"Yea. Just thinking. I think I'm just gonna go lie down."

"Ok...You just seem like something's bothering you. I can help if you just talk to me."

"I don't think you can help me with this Alice. Thanks though. If I can figure out something you can do, I'll let you know."

"Are you gonna go sleep in Edward's room again?" She asked me and you could tell she was truly hoping my answer was going to be no.

"Of course I am. When do I ever sleep anywhere but there when I stay over?" I laughed on the inside at this remark. It was kind of pathetic that even though I was here to spend the night with Alice, I was still choosing his room.

"What do you do up there anyways? It smells like boy and is gross." She stuck her tongue out in disgust.

"Have you ever even been up in his room?" I laughed at her, "His room is probably the cleanest place in the house!"

"But he's so gross!" She squealed.

"If you say so Alice. I'm gonna go to bed okay? I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay. Sleep tight sugar plum!" She yelled to me as I was shutting the door. Sugar plum? She must still be on a high from actually speaking to Jasper.

I was upstairs quicker than I could even imagine. The one awesome thing was that the Cullen's house was on the third floor. Esme actually designed the house and Carlisle just nodded his head and agreed to give her whatever she wanted.

Walking into Edward's room, I felt the need to snoop. It may not have been the wisest idea, but it was what I decided I was going to do. I knew he hid stuff in his room, and my guess is that some of it he forgot to take with him.

I was digging through his desk when I came across his notebook. How the hell did he forget to take this with him? I remember in the past this was his pride, it never left his side! Should I open it and read the types of things he had in here? Or should I let it stay private and just put it back like I never saw it? Oh, fuck it. I'd be crazy to put it back and not even take a peek!

_Property of Edward Cullen_

_Read further and you will be dismembered._

Always one for the dramatics, that one. He would never dismember me, even if he was pissed. Which is the exact reason I decided to continue. On the first page there was a song called 'Untitled' I flipped through it looking for something that had a name, to see if I could place what it was about. But it seems as though everything was untitled! What the fuck kind of writer writes, but doesn't name things? Edward Cullen, that's who.(!) He was so smart, but was still kind of dumb at times. I stopped at a page, because the lyrics jumped out at me and I had to finish it.

No I'm not the man I used to be lately

See you met me at an interesting time

If my past is any sign of your future

You should be warned before I let you inside

Hold on to whatever you find baby

Hold on to whatever will get you through

Hold on to whatever you find baby

I don't trust myself with loving you

I will beg my way into your garden

I will break my way out when it rains

Just to get back to the place where I started

So I can want you back all over again

Hold on to whatever you find baby

Hold on to whatever will get you through

Hold on to whatever you find baby

I don't trust myself with loving you

Who do you love?

Girl I see through, through your love

Who do you love me or the thought of me? me or the thought of me?

Hold on to whatever you find baby

Hold on to whatever will get you through

Hold on to whatever you find baby

I don't trust myself with loving you

Hold on to whatever you find baby

Hold on to whatever gets you through

Hold on to whatever you find baby

I don't trust myself with loving you

I don't trust myself with loving you

I don't trust myself with loving you

I don't trust myself with loving you

Interesting lyrics. He truly had an amazing gift, and he needed to put them to use. Hopefully one day he could do just that. If he could get a song out there, he would be world famous. I always hoped for greatness for him, but the thought of him completely leaving crushed me. I had enough with the songs. Even though I read just the one, it was breaking my heart at just the 'what if' thoughts. I closed the book and carefully placed it back in the drawer before climbing into bed.

Turning my phone back on, because I was weird and refused to sleep with it off, I noticed I had a few text messages.

**'I'm sorry.-E'**

**'You need to call me.-Em.'**

**'Bella seriously, I need to talk to you!-Em'**

**'I'll see you soon-E'**

What the fuck was going on? Edward doesn't just randomly apologize. And why would Emmett tell me he needed to talk to me knowing that I was out at a party? Whatever, I was too tired to give a shit. I needed sleep; the rest could wait until tomorrow. I vowed to myself this was the last night I would cry myself to sleep.

~~~~~RM~~~~~

Waking up the next morning I felt odd. Maybe it was from drinking so much? Or maybe it was from crying myself to sleep once again. I needed some form of caffeine, stat.

Making my way downstairs, I could tell that Esme was already awake.

"Oh good morning honey." She smiled cheerfully at me as I made my way into the kitchen.

"Morning Esme. Is Alice up yet?"

"Sweetie you and I both know she won't willingly come down here after what happened last night.

I chuckled at the thought, "Yea, I guess you're right."

She handed me a cup of tea, made with honey and lemon. "So we need to talk baby girl."

"Yea, you said that last night. What's goin on?" I really had no clue what could be the matter.

"Well, Emmett is having a difficult time."

"Wait what? Why didn't he tell me? Is he okay? What can I do?" I said cutting her off mid-sentence.

"Calm down baby. He's alright. At least he will be. But he needs help. He is suffering from all of this too, but he's been trying to be strong for you."

"Okay, so what can I do to help?" I asked her. I felt bad that I had only cared about myself when my brother was in pain. He must think I'm a total bitch.

"Nothing sweetie. I've already called in some reinforcements. Edward and Rosalie, Emmett's girlfriend are going to move home to help him"

"Emmett has a girlfriend?" How the fuck did I not know this?

Esme laughed at my outburst. "Apparently they've been together for a couple years."

"How has he had her this long and kept her a secret? Why did he never bring her home to meet all of us? Most importantly, why hasn't he told me he needed help?"

"I have no idea how long Emmett has kept this whole thing such a secret dear. I know he is terrible at keeping secrets. Remember when you got your first bike? He couldn't wait to be the first one to tell you so that he could teach you how to ride it! As for the rest of it, I guess we will need to talk to him about that. Which brings us to my next point. Apparently, Edward and Rosalie don't want the supervision of me, so they are both going to be moving into your house. I know you are fine with Edward staying there, but if you are uncomfortable at all with her, you are more than welcome to come here okay? Just say the word and this will be your new home."

Why does she think that I am perfectly fine being around Edward? Oh yea, she doesn't know about what happened at the party, when he kissed me. Then again no one does.

"I'm sure it'll be fine Esme. But thank you. You will never know how much I appreciate your help and all you have done for me and Emmett. Plus it might be sort of fun to torture Rosalie since I'm technically the only family who has to like her." While it killed me to think of such a thing, it was sort of hysterical.

"When will they be here?" I questioned her.

"I think Rosalie got here yesterday, and Edward will be here tonight. He had a couple lose ends to tie up at school before he could leave."

Fucking awesome. I really wish I didn't have to see him so soon after I yelled at him. Was he even going to try and talk to me? Or would he avoid me? Was this Rosalie person going to be a total bitch or nice to me? So many questions were running through my head that I didn't hear Esme speaking to me.

"Bella honey? Are you alright?" I finally heard her.

"Yea sorry. I just got lost in my own thoughts I guess. I'm gonna head home I think. I wanna shower and might as well get this meet and greet over with!"

"Alright baby. But if you need me, you just call me!"

"Yes Ma'am!" I said with a salute towards her which made her laugh.

I didn't even bother to go upstairs to get my stuff knowing it would be fine here. It's not like I couldn't come back at any point and time to get it if I truly needed it. While walking home the same questions from earlier kept going through my head over and over. In all honesty, I was nervous. I had no idea what to expect from this chick!

When walking into my house, I felt out of place. Like I should walk with care. I had no clue what I was about to walk into.

"Baby Girl is that you?" I heard Emmett yell through the house.

"Yea Em. I'm home!" I yelled back.

Next thing I knew he was stomping down the stairs. "What the hell do you think you were doing calling Esme in the middle of the night like that? And the fact that you lied to her? Really Bell? I thought you would be at least a little bit more mature about this whole damn thing. That's it, you're done going out! No more parties, no more drinking!"

"Emmett calm the fuck down!" I heard a female voice yell, that must be Rosalie.

"Rosie, really! I told you what happened! I have a right to be pissed!" He was yelling. More towards me but yet it was at her. She made her way down the stairs and was standing next to him by this point, and she was gorgeous!

"EMMETT SWAN! Relax already! If drinking is the worst that she is going to do, let her! Don't you think the poor girl has been through enough already! Not to mention if you tell her she can't drink she will only resent you and continue to do so. It would also make you the biggest fucking hypocrite I know." Holy shit. Who was this woman? I loved her already.

"Hi Bella, I'm Rosalie. Emmett's girlfriend in case you hadn't figured it out already. Don't worry about your brother, I'll deal with him. But since I'm going to be living her now, let's get something straight." I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Ok..."

"When you go out to a party. Yes, I said when, not if, since we all know it will happen again, you call either me, Edward, or Emmett to come get you deal? It'll keep the stress down if we don't have Mrs. Cullen on our asses."

What the fuck just happened? I looked from her to Emmett, and back again. I think even he was a little bit in shock. "Thanks for that Rosalie. But while we are on it, Mrs. Cullen as you so called her, is like my second mother. If she feels the need to be 'on our asses' as you so put it, then my guess is that she has good reason to be."

"Ok both of you calm the fuck down!" Emmett was pissed again. "This is getting off on the wrong foot. Rosie, honey, this is my little sister Bella. Bella this is my girlfriend Rosalie, who I love more than anything."

"Shut up Emmett." We both said at the same time. Looking at each other, we were puzzled. Then she did something I totally wasn't expecting, she laughed.

"Uhm, you okay there?" I asked her.

"Totally fine. I'm not a complete bitch which I'm sure you were thinking. I just try to put that off when I first meet someone. It's a good judge of character to see how well they respond to you. Oh, and call me Rose." She said with a wink. Who the fuck was this girl?

"You are twisted Rose! Who does shit like that? Whatever though, I'm over it. I'm gonna go to my room. If I need to cook dinner let me know. Oh and Emmett, I love you brother bear. And I'm sorry. But don't bitch about me not calling you when I did and you didn't answer." I said and took off to my room.

I sat down on my bed and just simply stared at the wall. I was so scared for Edward to come back to town it wasn't even funny. Not only was he coming back to town, but he was going to be living here. Down the hall from me, and probably sharing a wall with me since I was hoping Em and Rose would move to mom and dad's old room.

I lay in my room for hours just listening to music and drowning myself in the words of others. Music was always my getaway. The one place that I could retreat to without anyone asking questions. The hard part about today was it seemed like I kept coming up with songs that Edward had written. Back before he left for school he made me and Alice each our own playlists of things that were written for us. With my iPod on shuffle, they kept playing. Fuck I missed him! But there was no way in hell that I could let him onto that! I couldn't let him know how much it really hurt.

*knock*knock* I heard on my door.

"Come in!" I semi yelled back, but the door didn't move. "Emmett for Christ's sake just open the damn door!" I yelled back at him as I went to get off my bed.

"It's not Emmett." I heard quietly. Fuck me now, Edward was home.

"Oh, uhm, hold on real quick." Shit! I had to change the music before he could come in here. Not like he couldn't hear it through the door though. "Come on in E." I said hoping he could hear me.

"Can we talk?" He asked me with sadness in his eyes.

"Since when could we not?"

"Stop baby girl. I know you're mad at me, but we need to talk. Can't do that if you're shooting me down every ten seconds."

"I really don't want to talk if you're just gonna fuck with my head again."

"I have no intentions of doing that ever. Just hear me out okay?" His eyes were pleading with me.

"Fine talk. But I can't guarantee that I'll talk back."

"Understandable. Do you even understand why I stopped that kiss?" I shrugged my shoulders, "Bella I'm serious. Do you not understand the trouble I would be in if we were caught? Or at least the trouble I thought I would be in." He put an emphasis on thought, why?

"What are you talking about Edward?"

"Baby girl the legal age in Washington is sixteen. Which means that you and I are free to be together as long as there are less than sixty months between our ages. Luckily for us, there's only fifty eight." He said to me as he smiled.

"But you don't want this. That's why you pushed me away." He was fucking with my head again. I think I was in the beginning stages of a panic attack. I can't handle anymore.

"Bella calm down. B I'm not joking." I felt him grab my hands, but I was hyperventilating. "Shit. Fuck. What the fuck do I do?" I heard him, (;) at least I thought I did.

It was in that instant that I felt his lips on mine. How do I breathe with those there? I went to pull away but he pushed harder. I felt his thumbs making circles on the palms of my hands, no doubt trying to calm me down. I could feel my breathing starting to relax, at least from freaking out. But it started to pick up again when it dawned on me that he was once again kissing me. There was no way I could let this moment pass again, so I kissed him back.

Warm, soft, gentle, delicious, amazing. That was how it felt to have his lips upon mine. I could tell he didn't want to take an extra step without my permission, so I took my tongue and brushed it against his lower lip asking for permission to enter his mouth. He greedily granted it, brushing his tongue against mine. Our tongues were busy massaging against each other, when I felt one of his hands cup my head deepening the kiss. I wanted more; I wanted his hands on me. Thinking logically, I put my hands on his chest and pushed him slightly so that we could finish talking.

"Edward stop."

"Are you okay? Did you not want that? Fuck, I keep screwing this up!" He said as he pulled at his hair.

"No, trust me I wanted it. But what are we doing? I can't keep doing this with you and then have you tell me it's wrong."

"If we do this, it isn't going to be easy, you know that right?" He asked as he looked at me.

"I know it won't. Your parents wouldn't understand. And that's not even counting Emmett and Alice."

"Everything would need to stay between us. Can you manage that?"

"The question is, can you handle that? I teased him.

"Of course. So we're gonna do this?"

"Are we together or just messing around?" I asked him. I needed to be sure where we stood.

"Baby girl, the ball is in your court. You tell me what you want and I am completely okay with it. I've been waiting for you to be old enough for a while now."

"I don't know if the whole 'boyfriend/girlfriend' titles would work if we have to sneak around. But what I do know is that I don't want any other girl around you."

"As long as the same thing goes for you, I'm all for it." He smiled at me and squeezed my hand. I didn't even realize he had been holding it.

"What? I can't be around girls? I dunno if this will work then." I joked with him pushed his chest with my hand.

"Shut the fuck up baby girl. You know exactly what I meant." He said as he kissed me.

Yea, I could get used to this. Now we just had to keep this from Emmett. Legal or not, he would not like me dating his best friend.

* * *

><p>So, thoughts? Opinions? You should check out my other story too..It's co-written with my friend PuzzyPower, and it's pretty awesome if I do say so myself!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Hi guys, Sorry it took so long, read at the bottom and it'll explain it all..Once again, I own nothing, everything belongs to those who make the money off of it!

* * *

><p>The following couple of weeks after we decided to be together were awkward. We were together all the time, but it was never really alone so we had to act as if nothing had changed. Talk about hard to do when all I want to do is kiss his face, or squeeze him tight.<p>

There were a few times we were able to sneak away and just be together, just us. Usually it was late at night so we had to be overly quiet. Those times meant the most to me. We would laugh, joke around, and I would cry every once in awhile. Then there were the times that we would sit together on the back porch, and he would play his songs.

I think those were the times I loved the most. His songs were truly amazing, and often I could hear the emotion coming out of the words.

Today was his birthday, and we were planning on spending the day with our little close group of friends, and later going to his parents for dinner. It was after all his twenty first birthday, who wanted to spend that with his parents? After dinner the plan was to come back here and drink, hang out, and I think set up the fire pit in the back yard. Alice handles all of our party planning, on top of who wears what naturally, so we never ask questions just sort of go with the flow.

I was in the kitchen working on making some breakfast for everyone, when I felt hands on my hips.

"Hi baby." He said into my hair as he kissed the back of my head.

"Good morning birthday boy!" I said as I turned around and kissed him.

"I would love to start every morning like this. Home cooked breakfast and kisses from you, can't get better than that." He said stealing some bacon nearly moaning at the taste. "This is awesome Love."

"It's just bacon you weirdo. It's not like you've never tasted it before."

"I know but it tastes better coming from you." He said as he kissed me.

I don't think I would ever get used to the feeling of his tongue against mine. The way he massaged my hips with his thumbs made me melt. Before I knew it, he had lifted me up on the counter and we were making out like we never had before. He had one hand in my hair, and the other was massaging my thigh which was wrapped around my leg.

We were so engrossed in each other we didn't hear someone come in.

"Well well well, what do we have here?" I heard someone say.

We instantly froze. His lips against mine, my hands in his hair, the only part of us that changed were our eyes; they opened immediately out of fear. It was like if we didn't acknowledge the person standing there, they would disappear.

"So are you guys going to separate and actually face me?" We heard again.

"Rose, I can explain." I said to her as I looked over Edward's shoulder.

"Explain what exactly? How long this has been going on? And what this is exactly? 'Cause I know for sure this shit isn't legal." She was in complete bitch mode.

"Wait a minute Rose. Don't be such a fucking bitch. First of all, it is legal, second of all; what we were doing has nothing to do with you so I see no reason why either of us needs to explain ourselves." Edward instantly came to my defense, I was truly shocked.

"Really? You're twenty-one Edward, she's only sixteen! How is that even legal? And you have to realize that Emmett will flip his lid when he finds out."

"NO!" I interjected, "Rose you can't tell Emmett! He wouldn't let Edward stay! Please, you have to promise you won't say anything." I begged of her.

"Are you guys sleeping together? 'Cause if you are I don't have a choice. I won't ruin my relationship with him just to keep your guys' secret."

"It's none of your damn business if we are or are not."

"Edward, stop!" I apparently have a knack for interrupting people. "It just depends on how you look at it, Rose. Have we had sex? No. Are we sleeping together? We have off and on our entire lives, so that's nothing new." I told her. I was still sitting behind Edward gripping the back of his shirt.

I could feel his muscles contracting as he would talk, and if I'm being honest, I wanted nothing more than to run my hands over his back and feel it contract. This was bad, here we were caught, and all I could think about is getting him into bed so I could feel him up.

"Okay but still. This clearly wasn't the first time this has happened between you guys. I just need to know what this is exactly."

"Why? You're going to ruin it anyways. You're being such a fucking hypocrite you know! You and Emmett hid your relationship for years, but me and Edward, who by the way have been friends for years, aren't even allowed to kiss? "This," I motioned between Edward and myself, "is none of your fucking business."

"B calm down!" Edward whisper-yelled at me while Rose just sat there and laughed. No joke - she was laughing at me, or maybe at us, I couldn't tell which.

"You're right Bella." Wait what? What did she just say exactly? "Look, I don't like that you guys are asking me to keep this from him, but he did the same to you, if not worse, by keeping our relationship a secret. Just do me a favor, okay? Before this," she motioned between the two of us, "gets any more physical than what it already is, at least come talk to me first okay? I need the two of you to be safe, and Edward you know exactly what the hell I'm talking about." She nearly glared at him.

"Rose, stop. I know what we should and shouldn't do. I'm old enough to make that decision don't you think?" Edward asked her. I was sixteen, I knew how to have safe sex and all that, and truly didn't want to sit here and talk to anyone about it. When the time came for me and Edward, yes I said when not if, he and I would figure out what works for us.

"So you really won't tell Emmett?" I asked her. I had to be sure, and I wasn't sure I could trust her just yet.

"Not right now I won't. I get it. I understand why you don't want him to know just yet. Look, I have to go finish getting ready for the day though okay? Just be good, and remember that he is in the house." She said with a slight smile as she turned and walked out of the kitchen.

"Baby, you can stop gripping my shirt now." Edward said to me softly.

"Sorry, that was just, unexpected? Guess our secret is out now." I lightly laughed.

"No. It just means that we don't have to hide in front of her anymore. I know there is more to her story than any of us know. I've known her for a while, and this is the nicest I've ever seen her!" What did he just say? That he knew her for a while?

"What the fuck Edward? You knew about her and didn't tell me?" I was pissed. How dare he keep that from me!

"Baby stop. Yes, I knew her. I had classes with her. But I didn't know that her and Emmett were together okay? I promise I wouldn't have kept that from you. Other than that, there was nothing for me to tell you. I just knew she was a bitch." He said as he caressed my cheek, causing me to lightly lean into his touch. I hated the pull he had over me.

He kissed my lips lightly, lingering there for a second. "Just relax baby girl. Everything will work out. Emmett won't know until we are ready for him to know."

"Okay. If you say so."

"Of course I do. I'm always right! Now give me a plate so I can eat some amazingly delicious food!"

Grabbing a plate from behind me he was instantly grabbing two or three of everything that I had made.

"Don't ever tell my mom this, but your cooking is better than hers." He said as he stuffed his face full of food.

"I'm so telling her at dinner!" I laughed at him. "Kidding babe. I'll keep your secret. Finish eating so you can clean up. I'm gonna go get ready for the day." I kissed his cheek as I walked out.

"Aye aye captain!" He said with a salute of his hand. Fuckin' dork.

~RM~

Lunch with the parents is always fun. Note the sarcasm in my voice. I can't say it wasn't fun, it just wasn't what I wanted to be doing.

If I'm being honest, I would have rather spent the entire day in bed with Edward. Granted, we haven't gone past heavy making out yet, but I want it - with him. I know we will get to that point eventually, but it was so tempting all the time.

At lunch, I kept wanting to grab him or kiss him. I could tell he wanted the same based on how he would look at me. There was a few times where one of us would walk behind the other and find a way to touch. There was just something between us; we had this magnetic pull towards each other.

Considering that Carlisle and Esme are huge pranksters, jokes are always a fun time in the household. But they never partake; they are usually the only ones who get real gifts. This year, Emmett got Edward a bunch of condoms, and a blow up doll. He simply stated, 'Edward's gonna need the help since his hookers are back in Seattle.' Needless to say that earned him a slap upside the head from Esme. It pissed me off, but made me realize that I needed to know exactly what I was getting myself into with him. Here I am a virgin, and it's being said that he has hookers? It hurt. I walked out of the room at this point, so I have yet to find out what Alice and Rose got him. When I got back he gave me a look silently asking me if I was okay. I only acknowledged him with a nod of my head.

The parents got him a new acoustic guitar with a new case. He loved his music so truly it was perfect for him. I loved watching him play his guitar. Any man playing a guitar was hot, but he was especially so. The guitar would go perfect with the sheet music and picks that I got him.

After we finished up eating and doing presents, the five of us headed back to our place. It sounded weird to think of it like that, but ultimately that's what it was.

From what the guys had told me, a bunch of their friends from school were coming down since it was Edward's twenty-first birthday. They said it was a once in a life time thing, and they wouldn't miss it. I was just worried about who would be tagging along. His "hookers?" perhaps?

Alice said we had a lot to get ready. In Alice terms, it means she had a lot of bossing around to do and a lot of work for us. There was food to be made, lights and streamers to be hung, chairs and tables to be brought out. All the drinks needed to be put into ice chests out back, and only God knows how many kegs Emmett had ordered. How many people were coming to this thing? Alice even had her parents rent space heaters for the backyard so that no one would freeze.

Once all the decorations were in place, I went upstairs to get dressed. This was one thing I had to do by myself; I knew how to dress myself to look good, and still look like me. After going through every item in my closet, I finally decided on a see-thru tunic sweater in red. Underneath it, I wore a black camisole and paired the entire thing with black skinny jeans. I tousled my hair, leaving a natural "just been fucked" type of look. I looked good, and I knew I did.

I had been upstairs for a while, and walking down the stairs, I could hear the music in full swing. There was a sea of people, I truly had no idea how this many arrived so fast! There were a few people I recognized from school, and many I didn't, I assumed those were friends of his and Emmett's from school.

While I was ultimately looking for Edward, I was also on a search for Alice. I knew I couldn't be with him all night, as much as it killed me. I just figured I'd sneak into his bed later tonight, no one would know. Luckily, I found Alice pretty quickly over by all the drinks with cups ready to go for us.

"Here B. Drink up! Let's go find the birthday boy to wish him happy thoughts!" She rambled. You could tell she had already had a few.

I was pissed when we found him. He was surrounded by girls. One of them kept touching him as though he was hers. She needed to get her hands off him, now. There were guys there too of course, but I wasn't jealous of them.

"Happy Birthday Edward!" Alice yelled as she jumped at him.

"Thanks Ali. Guys this is my sister Alice, and one of my closest friends Bella." Fuck I hated that that he was so much older than me, I was only the "friend."

"Happy Birthday Edward." I said quietly as I eyed the girls hand still on his arm.

"Thanks baby." He said with a smile on his face.

"Baby? Are you guys like together or something?" The nameless girl said.

"NO!" The two of us yelled at the same time. Yea, we got weird looks from everyone, especially Alice.

"We've been friends for ever. Our parents were super close. Her dad gave her a nickname when she was younger, and it eventually got shortened to baby." He explained without taking a breath. "This is Kate guys. We went to school together before I moved back."

You could tell he was trying to get me to understand this, but I would definitely be asking questions later. She was way too concerned with him, and way too touchy-touchy for my liking.

"Look. It was awesome to meet you guys, but I'm gonna go find some other people that I know. Enjoy yourselves!" I smiled at them and walked away. Hopefully he would get the hint that I wasn't happy.

Since there were a bunch of people I knew from school, I hung out with them so that it wouldn't be so awkward around Edward and his friends. I kept watching him through the night though. Every time I looked at him, he looked back. It's almost as if he could sense me watching him.

After a few drinks, I was feeling extremely comfortable.

"Hi. What's your name?" I heard a male voice from behind me. Turning around, I noticed him as one of Edward's friends from earlier.

"Bella. Yours?"

"James. It's great to meet you. You are absolutely beautiful. Let me get you a drink."

"I'd like that." I smiled at him. Shit, I didn't have to get my own drinks? I was good with that. Plus, it might piss Edward off to where he wanted to be with me tonight, instead of those bitches.

I don't even know how many shots I had, but I was pretty drunk. Drunk enough to know I should stop, but not quite to the point to where I didn't care. From what I could tell, everyone here was pretty drunk. It was a twenty-first birthday, should it be any different?

"Yo People! Listen the fuck up!" Emmett yelled into a microphone. Where the fuck did that come from? "So for those who partied with us up in Seattle, you know what this is. For those that don't, it's time for karaoke!"

"Bella this is usually hilarious. He's gonna make Edward sing." James whispered into my ear. It gave me the chills. Not the good ones either, the ones you only get when you are creeped the fuck out.

"Eddie, man, come on up! You know what you gotta do! Everyone does it on their twenty-first, and now it's your fuckin' turn!"

Watching Edward walk up to the make shift stage, you could see he was pissed. It was written all over his face. But it only appeared when he looked at me. Good, it got to him like I wanted it too.

"So guys, this is Edward. My best friend ever! Damn I sound like a chick." Emmett was so drunk, "Anyway, he doesn't get a choice of song, but he does get his choice of female partner!" Say what? He had to sing with a girl? Oh fuck no! No way in hell I could watch this.

"He's gonna pick Kate babe, they're awesome together" James said as he put his hand on the small of my back and pulled me against him.

"Get your fucking hands off me, you prick!" I pushed him away. "I didn't ask for you to touch me. I didn't ask who he was going to pick. He is my best friend and you're a fuckin creep. Get the fuck." I couldn't even finish my sentence before Edward interrupted.

"Yo J. She's sixteen, man. May wanna get your hands off." He said into the microphone so the entire party could hear him. "Bella come up here." He said again.

I was embarrassed as hell! He literally just put everything out there in front of hundreds of people I don't know! He was going to get it later. I slowly made my way to stage feeling everyone's eyes on me.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked him as I got up there, hoping it was quiet enough that only he heard me.

"Just go with it B," he smiled at me. "So for those of you who haven't met her yet, this is the lovely Bella. She's been one of my best friends since before I can even remember. I can't imagine singing this with anyone else."

"Oh, dear lord." I said and turned so my back was towards everyone.

"Just let loose B!" He yelled handing me a mic.

It was when I heard the opening chords, and his words that I had to smile.

_Now I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt like this before_

_Yes I swear, it's the truth_

_and I owe it all to you._

His voice was magic. It gave me chills up and down my spine every time I heard it. Well, nothing else to do but to join him.

_'Cause I've had the time of my life_

_and I owe it all to you._

The song continued as we sang and danced. It was like we were an actual couple on stage, but everyone else thought we were just doing it for the song, I'm sure. It was fun. It was probably my most favorite moment since the loss of my parents. At the end of the song we were laughing so hard we couldn't even finish the lyrics. Not because the song was funny, but because we were having so much fun, and yes I admit, we were pretty drunk.

"Chicks and dicks! The birthday boy himself and my little sister!" Emmett yelled. "Now get the fuck off here and let others sing it out!" He pushed us off the stage.

"Meet me upstairs in five minutes." He whispered into my ear.

"Bella, you guys did so great together! Your voices fit so perfectly together!" Alice greeted me with a hug. "You should totally sing in the talent show in PA!"

Oh lord, she was drunk. "Thanks Al. It's not the first time you've heard us sing." I laughed. "Look, I'm gonna run upstairs though I'll be back."

"Ok! Don't be gone long!" She yelled after me.

I hadn't even made it up the stairs when I felt Edward grab me and throw me over his shoulder, instantly making me laugh. "Don't drop me!" I squealed at him.

"Oh don't worry baby. I'm not dropping you anywhere but on my bed." He said as he ran faster.

Before I knew it, we were in his room and he slammed his door, throwing me on his bed. Climbing on top of me he was kissing me instantly.

"God Babe. I have wanted to kiss you all night. You're not allowed to talk to other guys. Pissed me the fuck off." He said lowering his mouth to my neck and sucking lightly.

"Baby please." I found myself moaning.

"Please what love?"

"Fuck. More. God don't stop."

Feeling his hands go under my shirt, the skin to skin contact was one of best things I had ever felt. "Baby, sit up." I heard Edward told me, so I sat up just barely before I felt both of my shirts ripped from my body.

Running my hands up and down his back, I moved to the front and undid the buttons on his shirt. He sat back and ripped the shirt from his body bringing his mouth back to mine. I would never get sick of kissing him. Even though it hadn't been that long, I never wanted to stop.

"God you are fucking gorgeous." He had stopped kissing me only to stare at my chest. I felt exposed, but I wasn't scared. Being with him made me feel loved, adored, and wanted.

"Can I?" He asked while motioning to my bra.

"Uh, yea, sure." I was tripping over my own words.

"We don't have to do anything B. This is all at your pace."

"No, it's fine, I want this." I reassured him. He pulled me towards his chest while reaching behind me unclasping the only piece of fabric between our chests.

The second it was off of me, I wanted to hide myself, so I took my arms and covered myself. I had never been this bare in front of someone.

"Stop babe. You have no reason to hide from me. You are gorgeous."

"I'm just scared. I've never been in a situation like this before."

"I know babe, but it's just me. I've known you forever. It's okay." He reassured me while kissing me.

I tried my hardest to let my guard down so I moved my arms. The instant I did, his chest was pressed up against mine, causing me to moan. When he was this close against me, I could feel his heart beat fast. I could feel the shiver that would elicit when I tugged on his hair lightly.

He ran his hand down my side. When he got to my thigh he squeezed lightly, making me open my legs to him further. Grabbing my knee, he forced my leg around his hip so that he could get further in between my legs. I could feel how hard he was, and even though it was through his jeans, I could tell he was huge.

Moving his mouth to my neck, he sucked lightly while mixing it with biting, licking, and kisses.

"Fuck Babe, you taste amazing." He said continuously lowering his mouth. He pulled back, staring and my chest. He licked his lips, with a look of hunger on his face.

Taking my nipple into his mouth, I found myself arching up into him. He then began to thrust into my covered center. Giving both of us the friction that was most definitely needed.

I had a fascination with his arms. The way the muscles flexed and moved under my hands. The way they would tighten as he moved above me. Feeling his hands go to the front of my pants, I froze.

I wanted this, and I wanted this with him, but I didn't want my first time to be while we had both been drinking.

"Edward, stop." I found myself saying.

"You okay?" He said sitting up, his hands still at the button on my jeans.

"Yea, I want this. But not right now. It just isn't right. You know it'll be my first time, and I want both of our senses to be one hundred percent."

"I'm sorry baby girl. You're right." He said, handing me my shirt to put on.

Sliding my arms into the holes me of my shirt, I pulled it over my head once again covering my chest, not even worrying about my bra.

"I'm not against doing that again, just not anymore tonight. You and I both know if we got further into that, you wouldn't have been able to stop. And to admit it, I don't think I would have been able to either. We should probably get back downstairs, who knows how long we've been gone."

"I know, I know. Come on, go fix yourself up so you don't look like you completely have sex hair." He smiled at me, and then kissed me as he walked out of his room buttoning up his shirt.

After redoing my hair and making sure I looked presentable, I made my way downstairs. I wanted to spend the rest of the evening with him, and I didn't care who knew it. Finding him wasn't hard as he has always stuck out in a crowd of people.

He was laughing, a beautiful sound that I would never tire of hearing. Luckily, Emmett, Rose, and Alice were with him so it wouldn't seem out of place for me to be there either.

"There you are Bella!" Rose sort of screamed. "We've been looking for you everywhere!" She continued on with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

I looked to Edward to see if he caught it too, since she was the only person who knew about us. He just rolled his eyes and took a swig of his beer.

"Oh, uh, yea. I was upstairs. Had to, you know, cool off after singing up there. I'm really shy and it was embarrassing!" Hopefully she wouldn't catch on.

"Oh really? Where'd you get that nice looking hickey on your neck then?" She leaned forward asking as Edward spit his beer all over the place, and started choking.

Holy shit I didn't even see that there! "It's not a hickey. I burned myself with the curling iron earlier."

"That's what they all say B. No need to be shy! I just don't wanna know who the fucker is! I may have to kill him for touching my baby sister." Emmett said as Edward continued to choke.

Fuckin' Rosalie. I can't believe she was going to call me out like that!

"So if we're done discussing who Bella did the nasty with, let's move on." Alice said. Always covering for me, that one.

"So Bella, Edward. Let's talk." Alice said. "You two sounded great up there, and I truly think we need to do something about this."

"We?" I asked her while looking at Edward.

"Yes, we. We all know you guys are too stubborn to do anything on your own, and as much as we make fun of people, I heard through the grape vine there will be talent scouts at the next show in PA." She smiled. She wanted something from us, the question is what.

"Imagine what the two of you could do together!" She squealed. "You two could be some of the greatest singers out there! But of course it will only happen if the two of you wear my clothes designs while doing it. Otherwise you'd just be ordinary." Ah, the catch. The real reason she wanted to do things.

"Look I'm signing you guys up whether you like it or not. If you don't wanna do it, I'll just tell mom and dad." She smirked. Fuckin' Alice always gets her way.

"Fine, we'll do it right B? But we choose the song, and we okay the outfit. No if's and's or but's about it." Edward told her while leaning down so his elbows rested on his knees.

"OOOH! Perfect! But I need to know what song so that I can pick the outfits out!"

"Edward I don't know about this." I told him warily.

"Relax baby. It's one song. How hard can it be?" He said taking a drink of his beer.

Well fuck. Looks like I was performing in the dreaded talent show whether I liked it or not, let's just hope I don't fuck this up!

* * *

><p>So, reviews are always welcome! =)<p>

The next chapter, I have no idea when it will be up. I'm working on it, but we have some family stuff goin on..

Yesterday, we found out that my cousin who had been missing for over a year, was in fact murdered June 2010. Luckily, the two bastards who did it were caught and admitted to everything. They are seeking life in prison for one, and I am not sure of what for the other. Needless to say, my entire family is grieving. He was the oldest of us grandkids, and just close to everyone. I promise I will get the next one up ASAP, but please bare with me.

Love you all!


	8. Chapter 8

**So don't hate me...I deeply apologize from the bottom of my heart. Been dealing with a lot of RL crap..sucks but what can you do? I have a new story I'm working on..no I'm not abandoning this one! But it is based off the last few weeks of craziness in my life..all true events =) Any takers?**

* * *

><p>I couldn't believe he agreed to singing and wearing stuff designed by Alice! I love the girl, but her clothes can be a little crazy sometimes! For all I know, she's going to put me in feathers and pearls! Sorry, but that isn't me. And even though I love her, I sure as hell wasn't going to be caught dead in that shit!<p>

The last three weeks I had been a nervous wreck, and we hadn't even talked about what we were going to sing! The show was in three days, and we had already been signed up to perform so there was no backing out now.

"Edward what the heck are we doing? Why did you agree to do this stupid fucking show for her? She just wants this for her! Not for us! I am freaking the fuck out over here!" My rambling was cut short by his lips pressed to mine.

"Babe shut up already! You and I both know that we are amazing singers, and together we are even better. We don't need the money, but if we do win it could be something great to put on college applications when you start applying." He was the voice of reason in a situation that had me scared shitless.

"You're right. But this shit is scary! What if I forget the words? What if I freak out? What if 'm just no good? You're going to be so mad at me, since you're picking the song."

"Bella shut up already! You are going to be fine. You're an amazing singer, and if you forget the words, I'll be right there to help you remember. Just one song and we're done. No questions asked okay?"

"I'll do my best. Have you figured out what we were singing yet?" I asked him. He was simply chuckling while looking at me.

"Yes babe. I told you this last week," he sounded frustrated almost, "Way to go with paying attention to me." You could hear the sarcasm in his voice, "We're singing a song I wrote when we first got together. It's called Secret Lovers." He said the last part faster than I had ever heard him talk, he was clearly waiting for my reaction.

"Seriously Edward? May as well come out and say 'Yo Emmett I want to fuck your sister." I was nearly yelling at him as I rolled my eyes. As smart as he is, he is one dense mother fucker.

"Bella, calm down Love. It was a joke. Actually, I have a song that I think would be perfect for you. But it doesn't include me in it at all."

"I thought the whole point of this is for us to sing together? Not for me to go up there and embarrass myself in front of the world." I may sound like a baby that is whining, but I was just scared.

"I'll be right up there with you Baby Girl. Don't worry, I wouldn't dare think of making you do this on your own. But the lyrics are all you, I just provide the music." His voice was full of sincerity, and a calmness I hadn't felt in a while.

"If you're so dead set on this song can I at least hear it? I sorta need to know the lyrics if you plan on me performing it."

"Well, uhm..." He was stumbling over his words while running his hand along his neck. You could tell he was nervous. "I can sing it for you but you have to know it won't sound right coming from me."

"What are you talking about? Words are just words." I was so confused.

"It's about your mom." His eyes pierced through me. I felt as if I were frozen in place. It seemed like just yesterday my mom was here with us, but I know it's been longer. "You okay baby?" He asked me.

"Yea. I guess. Uhm, just uh..let me hear it." I shook my head to get all the thoughts out of it. If I kept thinking about her, I would cry, and I didn't want that.

"Ok, hold on and I'll go get my stuff." He said taking off up the stairs.

Edward ran upstairs to grab his guitar and sheet music so he could play this song for me. Smiling, he made his way downstairs towards me.

"Ok so remember, this would be you singing and I would simply just be playing for you okay? Maybe throw in some harmonies every now and then." He was staring up at me intently through his thick dark eyelashes.

There was something about watching him play his guitar that completely turned me on. Watching his fingers slide over the strings, the way he held it. Most importantly, the way he looked at me with such devotion while he sang this song. The lyrics were perfect, and I knew this would be the song that we, well really just myself, would perform in three days.

"So what do you think?" He asked as he set his guitar to the side.

"It was beautiful. I want to sing it, but you have to be there with me. I don't know if I can sing that song and make it through." I said climbing into his lap causing him to smile.

"Then it's what we'll do, and don't worry. I'd never make you do something alone." He said with a kiss.

I didn't want him to stop kissing me. I wanted more, and I refused to let him stop me this time. Tracing his lip with my tongue, I got him to open his mouth. But the way I was sitting made things uncomfortable, so I twisted so that I was straddling him, causing a groan to come from deep within him. Hands tightened on my hips, while mine tugged at his hair.

I had a thing for his arms, and feeling the muscles contract. Moving my hands down it dawned on me that he had a button up shirt on, and it would make for easy removal. Tracing the muscles in his arms with my fingertips, I felt his hands go under my shirt lightly, then retract.

"It's ok Edward, please." I urged him. I wanted his hands back on my skin.

"Fuck babe." He moaned while covering my mouth with his again. Feeling his tongue massage mine was amazing. The way he kissed me and touched me, caused tingles to reach all the way to my core.

"Upstairs. Now." I mumbled into his mouth.

He stopped. Made no movement. Hands were gripping my hips, and wouldn't let go. It almost scared me.

"Bella? What are you talking about? Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't want it. Now shut up, kiss me, and let's go upstairs." I took control. He thinks I'm a kid still and he needs to realize I'm not.

"Don't have to tell me twice." He said as his lips crashed upon mine and he stood up causing me to wrap my legs around him tightly.

He knew his way around this house like it was his own. He didn't even need to see to get to my room and before I knew it, he was laying me down on my bed allowing me to scoot to the top before following me.

Instantly, he was on top of me. His hands and lips were everywhere, as were mine. My hands went to his hair and tugged gaining the same moan as earlier. Moving my hands down to the front of his shirt, I started undoing the buttons. I had seen this done in movies and just assumed this was the next step. I was nervous, but wanted this to happen more than anything.

Edward leaned up and tore his shirt away from his body while tugging at mine. He stopped though and made sure I was comfortable with this. Nodding yes, he pulled me so that I was sitting up in order to remove my shirt.

Kissing my shoulder and down my arm, I heard him mutter in between kisses.

"What did you say?" I asked him while pulling away.

Never removing his face from my arm, I heard him again, only this time it was clear. "I love you." He said quietly.

"I love you too Edward, but I thought you knew that already." I said with a slight smile on my face.

"I know it seems cliche to tell you now, but I couldn't stop it, and I needed to tell you..."

"Edward shut up and kiss me already!" I demanded.

Before lowering me back onto the bed, I felt his arm go to the back of my bra and fumble with the clasp. It took him a second before he had it undone. Pulling back, he looked me in the eyes to make sure it was still okay. I nodded my head while lowering the straps from my shoulders. My hands went up right away to cover my chest. No one but myself had ever seen me like this, and it was nerve wracking.

"Don't hide from me baby. If you're uncomfortable just tell me and we can stop okay? This is on your terms here." He reassured me while slowly moving my hands away from my body. "You're beautiful Love."

His mouth was everywhere. Kissing, licking, sucking. Slowly making his way down my jaw, he reached my neck. "Fuck Bella, you taste amazing," he said as he licked at my pulse point. My hands were still in his hair, but I knew he loved it. His mouth kept going lower and lower until he was sucking on my nipple. His tongue swirled around it while his hands kneaded the other.

"Fuck Edward, don't stop." Where the hell did that come from? I was pushing his face into my chest just in hopes of getting more.

"God I love you Bella. The way you feel, the way you taste. Fuck I can't get enough."

His words, I tell you, ate at me and made me melt. Before it registered what was happening, his lips were on my neck, and noises I didn't expect were coming out of my mouth.

One of his legs went between mine, while his hand went to my thigh, hitching my leg up and around him. This caused him to be directly in line with where I wanted him. If only we didn't have our pants on still. The feel of his chest against mine was surreal. I had never felt something like this, skin to skin. His heart was racing, and I'm sure mine was too. I wonder if he could feel what I was feeling. Running my hands down his defined chest, I reached the top of his jeans and tried my hardest to unbutton them. But I was still shaking with nerves as I tried to undo them.

"Let me do it babe, just relax okay?" He said against my neck.

He climbed off of me and the bed to unbutton his jeans and I felt empty. I needed him back on top of me. Pulling them down his legs, his eyes never once left mine. I moved my hands to the button on my own jeans, and undid it.

"Stop baby. Let me do that okay?" He said while replacing my hands with his own. Fingers sliding against my hips and onto my skin. Slowly lowering my pants and dragging his hands down my legs the entire time. Everywhere he touched I felt like my skin was on fire.

Once both of our pants were gone, I was left in my panties and he was in his boxer briefs. Good thing I chose to wear my lace boy shorts today. Looking down, I could see he was hard. This may be my first time, but I took sex ed, I knew what it looked like.

"Bella if you aren't sure you want this you need to tell me because I don't know if I'll be able to stop once we do start." He held his hands low on his hips at the top of his boxer briefs.

"I'm positive Edward. I want you, I want this." Slowly, he removed them from his body leaving his dick standing straight up.

He climbed back on top of me, again with one leg between mine. His face attacked my chest with a mixture of licking and sucking combined with some rubbing and squeezing from his hands.

That's when I felt one of his hands make its way south, down my body and straight between my legs. I wonder if he was going to be grossed out that I felt wet down there. I know it's natural, but it seemed so weird.

His hands were lined up against my panties. He started rubbing through them causing me to buck up against his hand. I think I possibly sounded like a porn star with the noises coming from me.

"God damnit you're so fucking wet Baby girl." He moved his mouth back on mine while he continued downstairs.

"Edward please." I found myself begging. What he was doing felt amazing. Desperation, need, passion, love, desire. I had never felt all of these at once, but it was the most amazing feeling.

"Please what Love? What do you want?" He smiled against my mouth. Every now and then I would feel him thrust into my leg, and holy shit was this man huge! I had no clue how in the world he was supposed to fit inside of me!

"I don't know. I just want more." Was my answer. I truly had no idea what I wanted, I just knew I needed more.

"Can I take these off?" He asked as he played with the hem of my panties.

I felt myself gulp, I was scared. Nodding my head yes, I felt him pull at them, dragging them down my legs. My legs closed on instinct to keep myself from being seen.

"Stop Bells. Just relax. And holy shit you're bare? Fuck you're going to be the death of me." He said rubbing my leg. Even though I was scared, I wanted his hands back on me.

He was instantly back on top of me, kissing me, with his hands still on my legs. He was tracing small circles on my thighs, slowly inching his way towards the middle, which is where I wanted him. I found myself opening my legs, which caused him to groan. His dick was pressed against my thigh, and it was weird being so close to him.

"Edward please," I found myself begging again. "Just touch me already." I sighed against his lips.

"Fuck babe." He said while trailing his hand up to my center. I flinched at the instant contact. "You're drenched." He mumbled against my mouth.

Slowly stroking me, I started to relax. It felt amazing, and I wanted more. He was kissing my neck, and I was perfectly content, when I felt a surge of electricity go through me. "More. Edward. Please." I had no clue what he was doing to me, but fuck it was amazing. I could feel him smiling against me, at the same time that I felt a finger start to slide inside of me. My body jerked back, and stiffened up. This was new territory. Something I was taught that was wrong. But holy shit it felt everything but wrong.

"Relax your body Bells. I'm not going to hurt you. But it will hurt unless you don't relax." He whispered while continuing his stroking. Soon, I felt my body relax completely, as he slipped another finger inside.

"UGH!" I heard, but I wasn't sure if it was from him or me.

His fingers hit a spot inside, that I read about. The spot you hear women talk about, but was something I always felt to be fake. Well let me tell you, it was not fake! Holy shit, I want his hand on that all day every day. I don't ever want it to stop.

Feeling this burning sensation building up inside of me, I didn't care anymore. I gripped his arm and held it in place.

"I can feel you Bells. Just come already." He said. "Let me feel you."

"God, Edward. Please." He leaned his head down to my chest and started sucking at my nipples again. The feeling combined, I felt myself come undone.

My body did things I never knew were possible. I arched off the bed towards him. My legs clamped down forcing his hand into place. I grabbed at him to pull him closer. All while I rode this high out.

"God you are beautiful Love." He said while climbing on top of me. His arms were on either side of my head. My body was still shaking, but I was able to move my arms up around his waist and run my fingers along his spine. His dick lined up perfectly against me. All I had to do was move slightly and he would probably slip right in.

"Do you want me to use a condom babe?" He asked gently as he looked into my eyes.

"No, I trust you. I just want you, nothing between us."

"This will hurt, so I need you to tell me if you need me to stop okay?" He said while leaning down to kiss my neck.

Slowly, I felt the tip of his dick slide up and down through my folds. Coating himself in the wetness that was there. Before he was even in, he hit that spot that made me buck again. With every brush of his dick, it would go lower until he was at my entrance. Tensing, I heard him whispering loving and calming words into my ear. That was when I felt him enter. Slowly of course, because he would never purposely hurt me.

"Fuck Bella. Please, for fucks sake relax your body or I won't last." He was begging me. His eyes shut tight, his mouth clenched. Lifting my head off the pillow I leaned up to kiss him, hoping it would relax us both. He pushed a little more, and I felt the barrier break. It caused tears to run down my cheeks. The pressure, the burning, I felt like I were being ripped in two.

"I'm sorry Love. The pain should go away soon, I promise." He said while wiping the tears from my face, and chastely kissing me. After a few seconds, I told him he could start to move, but only slowly.

He pulled back, and I felt empty, until he pushed back into me again going so slow it felt like it would kill me. Pushing up into him, I encouraged him to go faster.

"Damn Bells, you're tight as hell. You feel amazing." He grunted.

Every time he would thrust into me, I would push back, meeting him half way. I assume he liked it because of the noises he made each time.

"Baby...fuck...I'm not gonna last. You're too fucking tight."

Grabbing his waist, I moved my arms down his back and to the top of his ass. Squeezing it hard, I felt him squirting inside of me. Grunt after grunt followed my slow thrusts, I knew he was done. I didn't get off, but that was okay. Just being with him was perfect for me.

Not moving, he laid down with his head on my chest. He was out of breath, and breathing hard. I continually rubbed his back while he laid there.

"I love you." He said quietly.

"I love you too." I smiled to him. Rolling off of me, he got up out of bed and grabbed a towel from my bathroom. Coming back over to me, I noticed it was damp and he spread my legs to clean me up.

"How are you feeling? Are you sore?" He questioned.

"Yea, but I'll be okay. It was worth it." I smiled at him.

He grabbed some clean panties from my drawer and threw them plus his shirt at me for me to get dressed. He threw some sweats on, and climbed into bed pulling me to his chest.

"I love you Baby Girl. Don't ever forget that." He whispered against my hair.

"I love you too Edward."

* * *

><p><strong>Review please! <strong>


End file.
